The Coffin

Bump, behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin
 banging its way down the middle of the street towards him, 
bump, bump, bump.

Terrified, the man begins to run towards home, the coffin bouncing
 faster, faster, faster, faster. 
Bump, bump, bump

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him

However, the coffin crashes through his door with the lid of the coffin clapping
, clappity-bump, clappity-bump, clappity-bump, 
on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door, bumping and clapping towards him

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of 
cough syrup
. Desperate he throws the cough syrup at the coffin. 
The coffin stops.

Happy Halloween!

Image Credit: Scare FX

46 thoughts on “The Coffin

  1. Ann says:

    oooh spooky. I'm going to check the medicine cabinet for cough syrup. I think I'll want to carry a bottle around with me today. Or better yet maybe a gun that shoots cough drops?

  2. Stephanie Faris says:

    A Halloween-themed joke. Love it! Interesting story–I was writing a story for a client of mine and had to contact different funeral homes to ask if anyone ever bought coffins for Halloween. The answer was…uh…NO. (Said with a weird, "Why would anyone do that?" question in their voices!) Indeed, you can buy fake, cheap costumes for decorating, but my client thought some people might be REALLY committed to their decorations!

  3. Paul Pietrangelo says:

    Tap Tap Tap
    Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap -tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

    Happy Halloween Saturday Sandee. Boo.

    Cruisin Paul

  4. cube says:

    Good thing I read this after Halloween or I would've been carrying a bottle of cough syrup. I mean you never know when a coffin will come a bumping 😉

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