Lifes Lessons

9 Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:

Number 9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

And, as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

Hat Tip: Barb
Image Credit: Bio Edge Tech

48 thoughts on “Lifes Lessons

  1. Marg says:

    Those are just terrific. They are all good. I tried to find a favorite but I liked each one. Thanks Sandee for the great laugh this morning. You and Zane and Little Bit have a wonderful day.

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