IRS Audit

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages.” What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?

“Good question,” noted the CEO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company, and every once in a while they send us a free roll.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went in his obnoxious way, “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every so often they send us a free bag of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO. “Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CEO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”

Hat tip: Linda W.
Image Credit: Better Business Blog

44 thoughts on “IRS Audit

  1. Kismet says:

    A man who worked for my father always asked for a day off at the same time each year. My dad once asked him why. He was told that it was for his annual IRS audit. He got audited every year because he deducted a lot of stuff he shouldn't. When he went to the audit, he made himself difficult. The upshot was that the auditor wanted to get rid of him and they compromised on a figure in the middle. Then the auditor looked good to his IRS boss because he extorted more money from the man and the man figured he made about $1,500 per hour tax free compared with being honest on his return.

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