Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?



Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Hat tip: Linda W.

Image Credit: Mobile PC Medics

44 thoughts on “Husband 1.0

  1. DrillerAA09 says:

    Priceless! Simply priceless.
    However, since we were married long before computers and tech support, we've found that nothing replaces mutual support and encouragement. Since every couple is different, no single application will run the same in every marriage system, but Unconditional Love 1.0, Honor 5.0 and Mutual Respect 10.0 will go a long way toward preventing any system crashes. Just sayin'.

  2. Marg says:

    That is hysterical and so in tune with the modern world. Too much tech for this old lady. But that is the way of things these days. I did get a good laugh out of all this.

  3. "Annie" says:

    Sandee, this is hysterical…I like this, "does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly."

    Thanks for the laugh, as always.

    Have a great Tuesday!

    "Big hugs" :))

  4. Jean(ie) says:

    No beer, but has farting and snoring here. Tried guilt, laughter 1.0 came out in him. So I installed "dammit, I'll do it my own damn self"1.0! Hahahaha!

    By the way, I flunked computers in college..

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