Funny Quotes

fc,550x550,silver.u3“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill

“Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” – Unknown

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones

“I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” – Unknown

“God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.” – Ethel Mumford

“A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” – Robert Purvis

“The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel

“America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.” – Unknown

“Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?” – Unknown

“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth

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50 thoughts on “Funny Quotes

  1. messymimi says:

    Noah could have taken care of the termites, flies, and roaches while he was at it. And fleas, except that i'll bet more than two of them came, on the animals.

    Thanks for the giggle today!

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