Funny Quotes

fc,550x550,silver.u3“The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter.” – Winston Churchill

“Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?” – Unknown

“The trouble with being punctual is that nobody’s there to appreciate it.” – Franklin P. Jones

“I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what I’m doing.” – Unknown

“God gave us our relatives; thank God we can choose our friends.” – Ethel Mumford

“A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that ‘individuality’ is the key to success.” – Robert Purvis

“The human brain is a wonderful thing. It starts working the moment you are born, and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.” – George Jessel

“America is a country where half the money is spent buying food, and the other half is spent trying to lose weight.” – Unknown

“Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?” – Unknown

“By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong.” – Charles Wadsworth

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