Wednesdays Question

questionIt’s Wednesday so that means it’s question time. It’s time to ponder and then answer just one question. Okay, you can add all you want as a reason for your answer too. We’d all like that.

So here’s this weeks question: What were/are your parents like?

My mother was a jewel and my father was a tyrant. She stayed with him because she didn’t have an education and was afraid to be out on her own with three kids. We would have been better off away from him. I was a punching bag for him until I left home at 16 years of age. I was always close with my mom, but pretty strained with my father for many years. To say I had an unhappy childhood is an understatement.

59 thoughts on “Wednesdays Question

  1. Barb says:

    My parents are awesome. Loving. Funny. Selfless. I had a wonderful childhood. I am so blessed to still have both of them. And they gave me my sisters who are my best friends. I don't know many people who have been married as long as my parents have and still love each other so much. Blessed. Totally.

    How awful for you about your dad. A punching bag… I can't even imagine my dad ever hitting me. Good for you getting the hell outta there and making something wonderful of your life!

    big hugs honey xoxo

  2. Magical Mystical MiMi says:

    The older I get the more I realize how much like my father I am.. The good and the bad. I was always closer to my dad than my mom. My dad was hilarious, my mom wasn't. My dad got me, my mom didn't. I put my ear to my dad's chest and listened to his very last heart beat.. 3:04am.. I wasn't there when my mom passed away. In the end she didn't know any of us anyway..

  3. Christine says:

    My dad is smart and sure of himself. My mom is a people pleaser. They did not do well as a married couple. If only my mom would have stood up to him… They each remarried, and after many years finally started talking. They are now good friends.

  4. joeh says:

    My mom was a pip.. my dad was strict, but fair. I had no complaints…well my brothers picked on me a bit, but they also stomped on any neighbor kids that wanted to pick on me, so all in all I had no complaints.

  5. Chatty Crone says:

    Sandee we have a lot in common. My mother was wonderful and my father was a very cruel man. She stayed with him because because she was afraid. I think we would have been better off too – but it did – when all put together – make us who we are today – for better or worse. Hugs!.

  6. DrillerAA09 says:

    My parents were the best. They were firm but fair. They LOVED young children. When they were older, a couple of the neighborhood children would come to the door and ask if dad could come out and play. Seriously. While we were definitely a lower middle-class family, I grew up in the best home ever, and, as a child of the 50's-60's, I grew up in perhaps the best times that this country will ever see.

  7. Saundra McKenzie says:

    I had a weird childhood, probably whats wrong with me today, lol. I was a Navy baby. My Mom met my Dad when was on leave, got preggers, got married, had me, divorced when I was 6 weeks old. I saw my Dad maybe 10x my whole life. My Mom and I lived with my grandparents. Here is the kicker. They were my Dad's parents, not my Moms. See, weird! I grew up with great grandparents and a Mom who was more like an older sister. She finally left to go back to her family when I was 14. Left me devastated. Came home from school one day and her room was empty. Long story……….

  8. Jean R. says:

    I'm sorry that all kids couldn't have had the childhood I did. It was a happy one with a dad who was about as perfect as they get. I was in my mid twenties before I ever heard him so much as raise his voice. He was warm and loving and always had time for kids to follow him around while he taught us everything from plumbing to philosophy. My mom did the best she could and I always knew she loved me, though she wasn't perfect. But she was always helping other women in bad situations, slipping them extra money when they didn't have food in the house, etc., etc. She was a good woman and a good friend to me when I got older.

  9. Traveling Bells says:

    My father was an alcoholic, and had a short temper that resulted in my face being slapped and/or a belt heavily applied. Mother could never stand up to him, with 5 kids. Happy times when he wasn't around. I escaped at 17, definitely with different parenting ideas!

    We both survived, Sandee. And are strong women now.

    Big hugs, honey…

  10. messymimi says:

    Mom did the best she could, and once she got sober, we got along much better. Dad was brilliant, loved us dearly but didn't know how to say it, and was gone a lot with a job that kept him working 60-80 hours most weeks.

  11. Kathe W. says:

    I thought my dad was really hard on my 3 brothers….but it wasn't til my mom died at a very early age (65) that I realized that our Mother was the glue that held the family together. Our father became quite demanding of me and my time and eventually cut himself off from all of us 5 kids because his new wife ( younger than his grandchildren) convinced him that we were only after his money…..seriously.
    After she died a few years later of ALS our dad married her even younger sister.
    He passed away last February and unfortunately she will not communicate with us about anything- where he's buried, what happened to our mothers personal belongings etc. It's pretty awful. However 3 of us have a wonderful relationship and life does go on.
    Thank goodness I have such a wonderful husband!

  12. Catherine says:

    Dear Sandee, My mother and father were very loving. My father passed away when I was sixteen and my mother was heartbroken. She passed away when I was 29. I have been without them for a long time and always they remain in my heart.
    xoxo Catherine

  13. BeadedTail says:

    My mom is a social butterfly which I am not. She does something every day whether it's Zumba, line dancing, hiking, mahjong or Bingo (she lives in Las Vegas). My dad is an adventurer and he and his wife have traveled thousands of miles with their 5th wheel including to Alaska from from Kansas. I'm stubborn like my dad but that's about all I see that I'm in any way like my parents.

  14. mail4rosey says:

    My dad died when my mom was expecting me, so it was just her and I. She was pretty self-absorbed (understatement 😉 ) but was smart enough to move right next door to my grandparents. My gram was the most amazing woman. She made sure my childhood was wonderful, and even though she's passed on now, she's still the person I look up to more than anyone.

  15. cube says:

    Growing up, our parents were loving, but not in a demonstrative way, i.e., not huggy or mushy. They took care of us kids and our needs, but were firm. Never our friends, but always our parents. My father is outgoing and gregarious, while my mother is shy, but somehow they've made it work for 63 years.

    Funny thing is, now they're both very demonstrative. At a recent huge family gathering, I went around hugging everyone and, somehow in the rush, missed my dad. He was standing there with this 'chopped liver' look on his face, "What? I don't get a hug?" I just shook my head and gave him a good squeeze.

  16. Ann Thompson says:

    Although I may not have always seen it, my dad was my hero. Kind, generous to a fault and an all around good guy. My mother divorced him after 17 years of marriage and it was probably the kindest thing she ever did. She was and is a very selfish woman who's misfortunes are always someone elses fault. Life if all about her.

  17. Katherine says:

    Wow. I have no words. I am so sorry you didn't have a father you could look up to. But you turned out so well… seeing positive and humor in things… so your Mom did something right!

    My Dad. Navy pilot. Navy Captain. Devoted father. Catholic. Lover of telling shaggy dog stories. I miss him so much.

    My Mom. Living, opinionated, smart, active, loving, cancer survivor.

  18. Rocks says:

    My parents were my heroes 🙂 being the youngest, I think I always get away with things like household chores and my siblings hated that 😀 My mother is very hardworking while my father is somewhat relax and playful.

    Sorry to hear about your childhood my dear..hugs!!!

  19. Marcia Shaw Wyatt says:

    I'm so sorry that your childhood was marred by problems with your Dad, Sandee. 🙁 That had to be so difficult to live with. I'm glad however, that you had a great Mom – that's so important and it's such a blessing. She obviously did an excellent job of raising you, because you turned out absolutely great – and that's what really matters in the end.

    I had two wonderful parents. I gave them a pretty hard time while growing up – but thankfully their loving influence helped me turn out okay in the end as well. 🙂

  20. MNL says:

    I’m sorry your childhood was so rough. It sounds like you turned your life around so your adulthood was much much better — and adulthood lasts a lot longer so that’s a good thing. Some people pine for their happy childhood or high school years and that’s sad. Nostalgia is ok but pining not so much. Much better to be happy in the present.

    • Sandee says:

      It took me years, but I finally figured out what was important to hold on to and what wasn’t. Once I let go of that baggage life became sweeter. I’m well adjusted now. 🙂

      • MNL says:

        That is so cool that you got there. It’s a hard lesson to learn. It’s hard to recognize that the pain someone dealt you was in the past but the pain you feel over the memory is pain you are dealing yourself in the present and only you can stop that. I do ok mostly but there is one area of my life I keep tripping up on and I know better. Mine isn’t from my parents per se but more from being raised in the Air Force and moving every two years growing up. Knowing and changing don’t always go hand and hand. It’s very cool that you were able to make the change. Letting go and changing is hard work.

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