Church Bulletins II

churchbloopers They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.

The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.

Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM – prayer and medication to follow.

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door.

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

And this one just about sums them all up:

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new campaign slogan last Sunday: ā€˜I Upped My Pledge – Up Yours.’

Hat tip: Nick M.
Image Credit: This Weeks Funny

51 thoughts on “Church Bulletins II

  1. Marg says:

    Those are just super. I needed a good laugh. We are all thawing out slowly. We finally got our power back this morning and I have to tell you it sure feels good. The ice storm knocked us out for four days. Have a great day Sandee, Zane and Little Bit.

  2. cube says:

    Electric girdles sounded painful. The ladies of the Church having cast off clothing made me LOL, but the last one, about upping your pledge, took the proverbial cake.

  3. Ann says:

    That last one is priceless. Love it. I'm still trying to imagine just how big that donation envelope is that you have to put the deceased in.

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