Rowdy Drunks

Two Irish nuns were sitting at a traffic light in their car in Dublin when a bunch of rowdy drunks pull up alongside of them.

“Hey, show us yer tits, ye bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.

The Mother Superior turns to Sister Margaret, “I don’t think they know who we are. Show them your cross.”

So Sister Mary Margaret rolls down her window and shouts, “Screw off ye little fookin’ wankers, before I come over there and rip yer nuts off!”

Sister Mary Margaret looks back at the Mother Superior and asks, “Was that cross enough?

Hat tip: Weezie
Image Credit: The Omen Wiki

Wednesdays Question

It’s Wednesday so that means it’s question time. It’s time to ponder and then answer just one question. Okay, you can add all you want as a reason for your answer too. We’d all like that.

Here’s this weeks question: Are you concerned about arriving on time for appointments or is being a bit late more your style?

On time. Other folks’ time is valuable and when you throw them off they have a hard time catching back up. I especially hate to follow that late person. Drives me over the edge sometimes. It’s like they are the only one on the planet that matters.

Frank Feldman

A man walks out to the street and catches a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, “Perfect timing. You’re just like Frank.”

Passenger: “Who?”

Cabbie: “Frank Feldman… he’s a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my coming along when you needed a cab, things happened like that to Frank Feldman every single time.”

Passenger: “There are always a few clouds over everybody.”

Cabbie: “Not Frank Feldman. He was a terrific athlete. He could have won the Grand-Slam at tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone, and danced like a Broadway star. And you should have heard him play the piano! He was an amazing guy.”

Passenger: “Sounds like he was somebody really special.”

Cabbie: “Oh heck, there’s more! He had a memory like a computer. He remembered everybody’s birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order, and which fork to eat it with. And he could fix anything—. Not like me – I change a fuse, and the whole street blacks out. But Frank Feldman, he could do everything right.”

Passenger: “Wow, some guy then.”

Cabbie: “He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams. Not like me, I always seem to get stuck in them. But Frank, he never made mistakes, and he really knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good. He would never argue back, even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished, too. He was the perfect man! I never knew him to make a mistake! No one could ever measure up to Frank Feldman.”

Passenger: “An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?”

Cabbie: “Well… I never actually met Frank. He died, and I married his dang wife.”

Hat tip: Sandra on Facebook
Image Credit: Image Chef

Awww Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww…Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww…and that’s it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I’ll visit your Awww…Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

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Image Credit: Click on Image

Awww…Mondays Participants

1. Awww Mondays
2. Margs Animals
3. Cody
4. Anne
5. Woodsterman
6. Angel
7. messymimi
8. Laika
9. Samantha
10. Linda
11. Mike Golch
12. Kathe W.
13. Joy
14. Comedy Plus

Learn more about Awww…Mondays here.

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