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Church Signs
The following are actual signs found on church property.
“No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace.”
“Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!”
“Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins.”
“Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!”
An ad for St. Joseph’s Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, “For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets.”
When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, “Open Sundays,” the church reciprocated with its own message: “We are open on Sundays, too.”
“Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!”
A singing group called “The Resurrection” was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, “The Resurrection is postponed.”
“People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are.”
“God so loved the world that He did not send a committee.”
“Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!”
“When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright.”
“Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday.”
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LOL, these are good. I love reading church signs. They get very clever with them.
I'm off to work now, have a great day
Me too. Some are so clever. 🙂
Funny stuff. I have seen the first one on a church in NZ. The one that seems least likely to actually be on a church is, ""Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!"
I've heard sermons that can put you to sleep. 🙂
Heeheehee! Those of us who have any Baptist background understand about the committee saying. Have a blessed and beautiful Sunday!
You have a blessed and beautiful Sunday too. 🙂
That last one works in their favor.
Yes it does Alex. 🙂
Very clever.
Yes indeed Tim. 🙂
I wonder what a rabbi would say at his church?
Enjoy your Sunday Sandee & Zane. See ya.
Cruisin Paul
♪♪Happy Birthday to you,♪♪
♪♪Happy Birthday to you,♪♪
♪♪Happy Birthday Dear Paul,♪♪
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Very funny! I like the "having trouble sleeping" and the "resurrection postponed". LOl!
Those are good ones indeed Nancy. 🙂
I loved them all but the one about committees hit home.
Yes it does Jan. 🙂
Hahahahahaaaaa…for all especially for the one on Resurrection!
Have a great day!
Some folks are brilliant. 🙂
Those are great signs.
Yes they are. 🙂
They're so clever that a bird must have thought of them.
You are right about that Kismet. 🙂
I love the, "take two tablets." Never thought of it that way before. I will now. It's cute. 🙂
That was a favorite of mine too. 🙂
Like that "free trip to Heaven" one. Personally, I prefer that little country church with 20 or so members to that city one where few people know each other. In other words, as the ole time song goes: Gimme that ole time religion!
I'm not into the mega churches either Ron. 🙂
These were really good!!
Happy Sunday 🙂
Thanks Michelle. 🙂
As a former parish administrator, I always put some of these funnies in the monthly newsletter. Love'em!
Big hugs from cool AZ, honey…
It's raining off and on here in New River.
You have a wonderful sence of humor Sandy. 🙂
It rained here today too Kismet. 🙂
Oh these are good! Nothing better than funny church jokes.
I agree Jen. 🙂
wonderful post! Thanks for my bday greetings! xoxo
You are most welcome my dear friend. 🙂
I love these and they are so getting swipped for a future Silly Sunday posting on my Blog! 😀 d-):-h :-*
Swipe away Mike. 🙂
These are hilarious and very creative!!! 🙂
Well it is Silly Sunday. 🙂
It is late and I am still smiling! Headache and all, getting ready for a quick trip to see my sis tomorrow early A.M. I have my Aw…Monday post up will try to remember to link in. Love, Love, Love these shares. SMile my friend, you are Amazing! Hugs, Anne
Thanks Ann. I hope you have a great visit with your sister. 🙂
I think this one's the winner:
"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!"
LOL
Yes, I've known these kinds of preachers too. 🙂
I love the billboard, DON'T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE- GOD
That's a good one indeed. 🙂
Those are some good ones.
I thought so too Binky. 🙂
Sandee I have heard so many "sermons that put you to sleep"…hahaha! and just last Sunday..I almost fell asleep while our dear Pastor is praying for the communion. tsk…tsk..
I think church is the most conducive place to sleep!!
Me too. I've seen a lot of people that were sleeping at church too. It is a place to sleep. 🙂
whats a church!!
Don't go into one Phil. The roof will cave in on you. 🙂
Hi Sandee, who knew church signs could be so funny! Many a true word said in jest.
xx
Oh church signs have been a delight for years. Now they try to make them funny one purpose. 🙂