Resolutions

God, grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,

The good fortune to run into the ones that I do,

And the eyesight to tell the difference.

2012: I will get my weight down below 180 pounds.

2013: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 200 pounds.

2014: I will develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

2015: I will work out 3 days a week.

2016: I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

Dear Lord:

So far this year I’ve done well. I haven’t gossiped, I haven’t lost my temper, I haven’t been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent. I’m very thankful for that. But in a few minutes, Lord, I’m going to get out of bed, and from then on I’m probably going to need a lot more help. Amen

Image Credit: Ragan

66 Comments on “Resolutions”

  1. LMAO especially @ I will try to drive past a gym at least once a week.

    I have only made one resolution this year and that is not to pass wind in public which has been successful so far …ooops! pardon. :-O

    Have a resolutiontatsic day Sandee :-f

  2. I just woke up and decided that I will never have resolutions anymore. Maybe one. I will always treat people with love. Sounds good to me.
    Have a wonderful Saturday Sandee. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • Same here honey, but I wanted to post something resolution related. And of course funny too. 🙂

  3. Oh Sandee, those are not only great resolutions but hysterical too. That is the answer to all problems. Just stay in bed. Sandee, you and Zane have a wonderful Week end.

    • If we add humor life is far better, but we already know that don't we. Yes we do. 🙂

  4. excellent! I had seriously forgotten about making New years resolutions….no joke- So this means I don't have to feel guilty later on because I didn't follow through…bwa hahah
    Have a great day!

    • That's the plan Kathe. I hate setting myself up for failure. You have a great day too. 🙂

    • I think you'll both do just fine. Seymour is a smart one. Not that you're not, but he's a rock after all. 🙂

    • Yep, that one seems to work for me every year and things get worse and worse. Oh well. 🙂

  5. I like your resolutions, Sandee. The prayer is cut too. Neat post.
    Well, I don't make resolutions cause I'm perfect in most every way. "I've done well. I haven't gossiped, I haven't lost my temper, I haven't been greedy, grumpy, nasty, selfish, or overindulgent." Some might differ.
    Happy New Year !!! :-h

    • You're perfect? I've never known a perfect person before. Happy New Year to you and Mrs. Jim. 🙂

  6. You crack me up! You find the best stuff to post on your page. Good to be back! I have missed you. Going to go have some fun and draw something for my Children's books right now. It's supposedly going to look like a duck … but it might end up looking like something else. Just sayin'.
    Wendster xoxoxo

    • Wendy! It's great to see you again. It's been a very long time. I've followed you on Facebook and I'm so proud of you. You've come a long way. Love you. ♥♥♥

  7. LOL That's a really good one….and the reason why I just don't make New Year's Resolutions 😀

    Sandee, thank you so much for your wonderful and open comment on my last kindness post! You can be so proud of the things you've accomplished, especially finding happiness within yourself. You are amazing! And I'm happy I got to know you here in the blogging world.

    Have a wonderful and very happy Sunday.
    More hugs to you,
    Beate

    • It wasn't easy Beate, but I could wallow in the misery or dig myself out. I decided to dig myself out. It's been a wonderful life so far. Have a happy Sunday too. 🙂

    • Some people are just not morning people. I used to be, but since I retired not so much anymore. 🙂

  8. I resolved to cut back on the little Post It notes I write to remind myself of something I want to revisit. So far, I'm using old envelopes instead 😉

    • This is one I could probably pull off because I do it already. I like your style. 🙂

♥I Love Comments ♥

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Discover more from Comedy Plus

Subscribe now to keep reading and get access to the full archive.

Continue reading

Exit mobile version