Tag: Seymour

Seymour #26

Well Seymour and Element have returned home.

Attorney Clay Feet has been successful in his law suits filed on our behalf against the Pebble Beach Gambling Syndicate and the separate suit against Julia Sandstone and her father Defrocked Judge Jeremy Sandstone.

His suits brought about the elimination of Elements gambling debts and his contingency fee has completely paid our attorney bills and promised to bring us a substantial rosy rock nest.

Alas as things go it simply doesn’t turn out the way you thought or wanted.

We had a knock at the door and Mary Granite was in the living room and answered the knock. There stood Brad Flint, Private Investigator and process server for Attorney Clay Feet. He was here to deliver the check we were anticipating. Mary and Brad locked eyes and were instantly in love. Before we had an opportunity to turn over a rock, they both were in his boulder carrier and took off with our money no less. We have heard from neither of them since.

We called Das Skunk who informed Seymour. The pain and anguish that poor Seymour is now suffering has brought new meaning to the term, blood from a stone. We truly wish the best for Seymour and Element in their next adventures.

Post Script:

A package came through the mail from the Society for Critically Altered Relationships for Seymour’s son, Seymour II. SCAR is apparently an organization helping those traumatized by relationship issues.

We were not aware but Seymour II has had an ongoing relationship with his mother Julia and his grandfather the Judge over the time that Seymour was absent. This entire time while Daddy was here, Seymour II was working with Mom, Grandpa and Mary Granite to payback Seymour for abandonment.

We are forwarding an application to Das Skunk for Seymour to complete to SCAR.

“Shoot fire, heck a brick!”

Image Credit: This Next

Seymour #25

The California Commission on Judicial Performance has referred Attorney Clay Feet’s complaint against Judge Jeremy Sandstone to The Obsidian Fracturing and Retention or Termination Council.

The OFART-C has determined that Judge Sandstone acted extra judicially in his handling of the Family Court matter of Seymour’s children during his previous visit and acted beyond ethics of mountainous proportions in this current visit with his sledgehammered approach to Julia’s misadventures.

Accordingly, all previous charges against Seymour have been dismissed with prejudice, Julia has been remanded to custody, and Judge Sandstone has been defrocked.

“Shoot fire, heck a brick!’

Meanwhile, the local Department of Public Works has dismantled the campaign billboard in our driveway and the California Secretary of State has determined that now Mister Sandstone cannot run in our local election because he is not a resident of our city. Criminal charges of elections fraud have been filed.

Mary Granite has noticed that Element is working with a new person frequenting the neighborhood whom we believe to be a Private Investigator hired by Attorney Feet to gather evidence in the upcoming lawsuits. Her interest seems to be highly unusual.

Seymour is now worried about returning home and letting Das Skunk know about his most recent affliction.

Image Credit: This Next

Seymour #24

Julia Sandstone has gone over the top. She has damaged our property and rock pelted Seymour and Mary’s bedroom. Attorney Clay Feet has gotten a restraining order to keep Julia away from us.

We look outside this morning and a billboard has been erected rock blocking our driveway announcing Judge Sandstone’s newest campaign. He has discovered that the office of Mayor of our small town is coming open and has thrown his considerable weight in the rock ring.

His campaign slogan: To the rock pile with Seymour; Julia for City Council; Judge Sandstone for Mayor.

“Shoot fire, heck a brick!”

Element has suggested that we file suit on all of them and get judgements to pay his debt. So off we roll to the attorney’s office. We spent a considerable amount of geologic time in the conference room discussing various and sundry items and issues and the result was that Attorney Feet has agreed to file the suits on behalf of Mary Granite citing Loss of Consortium. We were unaware of this, so help us, we had no idea, we really didn’t know. We thought all was going well between Seymour and Mary and that life was granite, but the stress of the trip this time to California has created a problem of El Capitan proportions.

Because of all the problems with Julia and Judge Sandstone, Seymour has erocktile dysfunction.

Image Credit: This Next