Tag: Male Humor

The Downspout

Today, a friend’s wife said to him, “Honey, get off your rear and fix that gutter downspout! And, I want it done before the end of the day!”

Well, as you all know, at my age, my friend, and most of our friends, are retired and do have the time to address such”Honey do’s”….

So, he invited some of us neighborhood buddies over to help with the project.

One is a sheet metal fabricator.

One brought his welder.

One brought beer and Nachos.

One brought a grill and burgers.

Took us about 6 hours, and 30-40 beers, but we got it done just as we finished off the last of the beer and burgers.

As usual,the wife is still not happy!!

Can’t understand, cause all us guys love it!
Personally, I cannot wait for it to rain.

Hat tip: Linda W.

Image Credit: House Maintenance
Peeing Downspout Image Credit: Lushome

Missing Wife

A husband went to the sheriff’s department to report that his wife was missing.

Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home.
Sergeant: What is her height?
Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Never noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been a skirt or shorts. I don’t remember exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my truck.
Sergeant: What kind of truck was it?
Husband: Brand new 2015 Ford F150 King Ranch 4X4 with Eco-boost 5.0L V8 engine special ordered with manual transmission. It has a custom matching white cover for the bed. Custom leather seats and “Bubba” floor mats. Trailer package with gold hitch. DVD with navigation, 21-channel CB radio, six cup holders, and four power outlets. Added special alloy wheels and off-road Michelin’s. Wife put a small scratch on the drivers door. At this point the husband started choking up.
Sergeant: Don’t worry buddy. We’ll find your truck.

Hat tip: Jerry T.
Image Credit: Top Auto Speed