Blonde Moment

A blonde hurried into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

‘How did this happen?’ the emergency room doctor asked her.

‘Well, I was trying to commit suicide,’ the blonde replied.

‘What?’ sputtered the doctor. ‘You tried to commit suicide by shooting off your finger?’

‘No, silly’ the blonde said. ‘First I put the gun to my chest, then I thought, ‘I just paid $6,000.00 for these implants. I’m not shooting myself in the chest.’

‘So then?’ asked the doctor.

‘Then I put the gun in my mouth, I thought, ‘I just paid $3,000.00 to get my teeth straightened I’m not shooting myself in the mouth.’

‘So then?’

‘Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought, ‘This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in my other ear before I pulled the trigger.

Hat tip: Joe of Cranky Old Man
Image Credit: Unenablu

Oh and have a Happy…

Image Credit: Click on Image

Awww Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww…Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww…and that’s it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I’ll visit your Awww…Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.

Add your link to the Linky Tools v2.0 and then follow the get the code link so we’ll have have the same links.

Cute-cats-and-dogs-Cocker spaniel with ginger kitten.jpg Image Credit: Click on Image

Awww…Mondays Participants

1. Awww Mondays
2. Margs Animals
3. Kathe W.
4. messymimi
5. Silly Willy
6. Mike Golch
7. Angel
8. Mary
9. Samantha
10. Isabella
11. Cute Babies
12. Wallpaper
13. Warren Photos
14. AmO Life
15. Cute Babies
16. Little Child
17. Baby Clothes
18. Babies
19. Babies HD
20. Fairy Babies

Learn more about Awww…Mondays here.

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Silly Sunday

Sunday is the place to come for weekly laughs. The rules are simple, just have fun.

This is a great opportunity to get to know other bloggers and have a laugh or two in the process. Here is how it works: Laugh and Link Up!

The Traffic Stop:

A cop pulls over a car and asks the driver, “Do you know how fast you were going?”.

“Well officer, I thought I was OK but I guess I let the speed get away from me.

The driver’s wife in the passenger seat piped in “He always drives 25 to 30 mph over the limit”.

“Shut up you battleaxe, are you trying to get me arrested?”/

The cop says “you weren’t wearing your seat belt”.

“I took it off when you pulled me over”.

“He never wears it”.

“Shut up you witch”.

“Let me see your license and registration”.

“I must have left my wallet at home”.

“No, you didn’t, your license is suspended”.

“Shut up you ugly bat”.

The cop walks around to the passenger window and asks the wife, “does he always treat you this poorly?”

“No, officer, only when he’s drunk”.

Hat tip: Kismit of Kylascott

Silly Sunday Participants

1. Silly Sunday
2. BFDude
3. Tony McGurk
4. Agent 54
5. bethere2day
6. Blogitudes
7. messymimi
8. Awww Mondays
9. Cranky
10. fishducky
11. Cruisin’ Paul
12. Woodsterman
13. Jason Salas
14. Skunkfeathers
15. Ann
16. Barb
17. Margs Animals
18. Abelle
19. Traveling Bells
20. Cody
21. Kathe W.
22. Pam
23. Mail4Rosey
24. Cube
25. Jean R.
26. Stephanie
27. Katherine
28. Binky
29. Rhonda

Learn more about Silly Sunday here.
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A 1st grade school teacher had twenty-six students in her class. She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.

It’s hard to believe these were actually done by first graders. Their insight may surprise you. While reading, keep in mind that these are first-graders, 6-year-olds, because the last one is a classic!

Don’t change horses …until they stop running.
Strike while the …bug is close.
It’s always darkest before …Daylight Saving Time.
Never underestimate the power of …termites.
You can lead a horse to water but …How?
Don’t bite the hand that …looks dirty.
No news is …impossible.
A miss is as good as a …Mr.
You can’t teach an old dog new …Math.
If you lie down with dogs, you’ll …stink in the morning.
Love all, trust …Me.
The pen is mightier than the …pigs.
An idle mind is …the best way to relax.
Where there’s smoke there’s …pollution.
Happy the bride who …gets all the presents.
A penny saved is …not much.
Two’s company, three’s …the Musketeers.
Don’t put off till tomorrow what …you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and …You have to blow your nose.
There are none so blind as …Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not …spanked or grounded.
If at first you don’t succeed …get new batteries.
You get out of something only what you …See in the picture on the box.
When the blind lead the blind …get out of the way.
A bird in the hand …is going to poop on you.

And the WINNER and last one!

Better late than … Pregnant!

Hat tip: Weezie
Image Credit: Love, Live and Laugh