The Lawn Mower

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer.. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a minute, and when I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

I said, “When you finish cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the driveway.” The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

Hat tip: Jerry T.
Image Credit: Best Clip Art Blog

Feline Friday

My buddy Steve of Burnt Food Dude started this meme because he wanted everyone to know that he doesn’t hate cats. I’m still not convinced that he loves cats, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. So come and join us in Feline Friday.
Image Credit: Click on Image

Feline Friday Participants

1. BFDude
2. Comedy Plus
3. bethere2day
4. messymimi
5. Kitty Par-TAY
6. Karen
7. Margs Animals
8. Uncle Skip
9. Kathe W.
10. Mike Golch
11. cube
12. Animal Shelter
13. Ann
14. Shiju Sugunan

Learn more about Feline Friday here.
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The Text

A guy texts his neighbor friend:

Dear Keith: I’m sorry. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been helping myself to your wife when you’re not around, probably more than you.

I know it’s no excuse, but I don’t get it at home. I can’t live with the guilt any longer. I hope you’ll accept my sincerest apology. It won’t happen again.

The neighbor, feeling outrage and betrayed, grabs his gun, goes into the bedroom and without a word, shoots his wife.

Moments later the guy gets a second text: Damn, found a spelling error, I really should use spell check! That should be “WiFi”… Sorry!

Hat tip: Uncle Skip

Image Credit: App Advice