Peaches

A Southern good-old-boy was selling his peaches door to door. He knocked on a door and a shapely 40 something lady dressed in a very sheer negligee answered the door.

He raised his basket to show her the peaches and asked, “Would you like to buy some peaches?”

She pulled the top of the negligee to one side and asked, “Are they as firm as this?”

He nodded his head and said, “Yes ma’am,” and a little tear ran from his eye .

Then she pulled the other side of her negligee off asking, “Are they nice and pink like this?”

The Southern good-old-boy said, “Yes,” and another tear came from the other eye.

Then the lady unbuttoned the bottom of her negligee and asked, “Are they as fuzzy as this?”

He again said, “Yes,” and broke down crying. The lady asked, “Why on earth are you crying?”

Drying his eyes he replied, “The drought got my corn, the flood got my soy beans, a tornado leveled my barn and now I’m gonna get screwed out of my peaches.”

Hat tip: Roche the pet rock

Image Credit: Saucy Sprinkles

Wednesdays Question

It’s Wednesday so that means it’s question time. It’s time to ponder and then answer just one question. Okay, you can add all you want as a reason for your answer too. We’d all like that.

Here’s this weeks question: Do you see doctors on a regular basis? Does your car seem to only visit a grocery store and a doctors office?

Pretty much what’s happening to me. This morning I’m having two procedures done and one required a prep from Hades (I’ll bet the over 50 crowd knows about this procedure). It seems I’m going to one doctor or another for something all the time. Getting old isn’t for the weak of heart. If you’re young enjoy it.
 

Retirement

Thoughts of a Retiree’s Wandering Mind…

I had amnesia once — maybe twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone’s heart. Now what?

Protons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can’t make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a “free” gift? Aren’t all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he’ll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height–which varies.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

How can there be self-help “groups”?

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I’ll show you a man who can’t get his pants off.

Is it me— or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

Image Credit: Zazzle

Awww Mondays

Join us every Monday for Awww…Mondays. Post a picture that makes you say Awww…and that’s it.

Make sure you leave a link to your post here and I’ll visit your Awww…Mondays post. What better why to start the week than with a smile.
Image Credit: Click on Image

Awww…Mondays Participants

1. Awww Mondays
2. Margs Animals
3. messymimi
4. Ann
5. Cody
6. Woodsterman
7. Mike Golch
8. Angel
9. Samantha
10. cube
11. Kathe W.
12. Linda
13. Silly Willy
14. Anne

Learn more about Awww…Mondays here.

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