Out of Office

Out-of-officeBest ‘Out of Office’ Automatic Email Replies:

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

Image Credit: Oldfield Bathrooms & Kitchens

44 thoughts on “Out of Office

  1. Ann says:

    these are hysterical. I like the at the doctors having heart and brain removed. That would give anyone a better chance at a management position

  2. Stephanie Faris says:

    LOL, love these…especially that last one. Or meetings…"Your credit card will be charged for every minute of my time you waste in useless meetings." People wonder why I refuse to talk on the phone to clients anymore. If they can't give me assignments and feedback in email, I don't want to work with them. Like in the office, in the freelance world people who want to talk on the phone just want to listen to themselves ramble.

    • Comedy Plus says:

      We used to have to management meetings every Monday. One at 9 with the division staff and one at 1 with the sheriff. Every single Monday. My in basket was overflowing. 🙂

  3. Skunkfeathers says:

    My old phone message was: (voice of Curly from Three Stooges).."oh look…you bent the chisel! (voice of Moe): "I'll straighten that…" (voice of Curly)…"nyuk nyuk nyuk *metallic BONK*…OW!" About 3/4s of the callers never bothered with a message 😉

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