Thoughts by Ducky

I saw a woman wearing a sweatshirt with ‘Guess’ on it. So I said ‘Implants?’ She hit me.

How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?

Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose fitting clothing, I wouldn’t have signed up in the first place!

When I was young we used to go ‘skinny dipping,’ now I just ‘chunky dunk.’

Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.

Wouldn’t it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ and start all over?

Why is it that our children can’t read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?

Wouldn’t you know it…Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.

Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?

Image Credit: Survival Plus

  38 comments for “Thoughts by Ducky

  1. Ann
    November 26, 2016 at 2:57 am

    Yes, I would have loved to have been able to hit ctrl alt delet on more than one occasion 🙂

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      Me too and many times. 🙂

  2. November 26, 2016 at 3:05 am

    HaHa. Thanks for the laughs.

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      You're most welcome. 🙂

  3. November 26, 2016 at 3:24 am

    Those are hysterical. So true about two people running for President. They are good and had me laughing out loud.

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      Yep, kind of sad isn't it. 🙂

  4. November 26, 2016 at 4:45 am

    "In bed with a relative"! Heeheehee! Thanks for the laughs this morning!

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:00 pm

      Yes, I hadn't thought of it in those terms. 🙂

  5. Jan
    November 26, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Having a ‘Ctrl Alt Delete’ on our lives would definitely help make a happier world.

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      It sure would Jan, it sure would. 🙂

  6. November 26, 2016 at 6:43 am

    these are all good- BUT especially the last one! Have a wonderful day! Big hugs!

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      You have a wonderful day too Kathe. Big hugs back. 🙂

  7. November 26, 2016 at 8:25 am

    Boo to the fat cells thingie!! And never take words on a shirt literally. 😉 🙂 Have a wonderful day!

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:01 pm

      I agree. You have a wonderful day too. 🙂

  8. November 26, 2016 at 8:26 am

    That last one is a good question. And if we swear to God to tell the truth, how can we trust an Atheist?

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      We can't, can we. 🙂

  9. November 26, 2016 at 8:26 am

    A lot of good points here. I found the one about signing up for exercise class and needing loose clothing particularly funny. Like others here, I too wish that we could hit "Ctrl Alt Delete".

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      Yep, I can relate to that one very well. 🙂

  10. November 26, 2016 at 8:31 am

    Those are great, I love the first 2 🙂

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      Some people are brilliant. 🙂

  11. November 26, 2016 at 9:04 am

    Ha ha, Sandee! Thank you so much, just what I needed this morning. 🙂

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:02 pm

      I thought they were clever and funny. 🙂

  12. November 26, 2016 at 11:51 am

    Perhaps if there were more Bible readers in school, there would be fewer in prisons!

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      That would be a good thing wouldn't it. 🙂

  13. November 26, 2016 at 1:42 pm

    Sandee, these comments are for real especially this one:

    " Don’t argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference. "

    Ha,ha,ha. Have a great evening my friends. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • November 26, 2016 at 4:03 pm

      We have to be very careful with the idiot one. It's so very true.

      You have a great evening too Paul. 🙂

  14. November 26, 2016 at 6:57 pm

    Brain cells come? I wish.

    • November 27, 2016 at 6:29 am

      Me too Kismet, me too. 🙂

  15. November 26, 2016 at 10:23 pm

    Many time I also wished for the Ctrl, Alt, Delete buttons. I like the old about signing up with loose clothing. No bible reading in school increases the numbers in prison.

    • November 27, 2016 at 6:29 am

      Some of these I would use. Some of these are just the truth. 🙂

  16. November 26, 2016 at 11:59 pm

    Haha. Oh, I miss visiting your site for some good laugh. 'Twas a busy couple of weeks and my wifi's still busted.

    • November 27, 2016 at 6:30 am

      Good to see you again Lux. I wondered where you went. 🙂

  17. November 27, 2016 at 4:44 am

    Juicy…I loved the one on argument with idiots and the obvious confusion!
    Have a great day!

    • November 27, 2016 at 6:33 am

      Yep, you have to be careful with that one or you'll be tagged the idiot. 🙂

  18. November 27, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    Chunky dunking isn't so bad when you do it at night!LOL

    • November 28, 2016 at 7:24 am

      I usually do that all day. Bugger. 🙂

  19. November 28, 2016 at 2:54 pm

    We could all use a rest now and then.

    • November 28, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      Yes we could Binky, yes we could. 🙂

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