Talking Dog

A guy has a talking dog. He brings it to a talent scout. “This dog can speak English,” he claims to the unimpressed agent.

“Okay, Sport,” the guys says to the dog, “what’s on the top of a house?” “Roof!” the dog replies.

“Oh, come on…” the talent agent responds. “All dogs go ‘roof’.”

“No, wait,” the guy says. He asks the dog, “what does sandpaper feel like?” “Rough!” the dog answers.

The talent agent gives a condescending blank stare. He is losing his patience.

“No, hang on,” the guy says. “This one will amaze you. ” He turns and asks the dog: “Who, in your opinion, was the greatest baseball player of all time?” “Ruth!” goes the dog.

And the talent scout, having seen enough, boots them out of his office onto the street.

And the dog turns to the guy and says, “Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?”

Image Credit: WKZO

  52 comments for “Talking Dog

  1. May 21, 2016 at 1:43 am

    Yup…a dawggoned opportunity arfully handled. Like Oddball, he should have done his other dog imitation…

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Yes he should have done his other dog imitation. 🙂

  2. May 21, 2016 at 4:10 am

    That probably would have been better to say DiMaggio. Silly Dog. Sandee, you and Zane have a fantastic week end.

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:47 am

      Silly man with the dog. I'm impressed with the dog. 🙂

  3. Ann
    May 21, 2016 at 4:17 am

    LOL

  4. May 21, 2016 at 5:28 am

    Hahaha! Yep, probably should!

    Have a fab weekend.

    Big hugs, honey…

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:48 am

      You have a fab weekend too honey. 🙂

  5. May 21, 2016 at 5:55 am

    Maybe he should have said a " chimney " on the house and sandpaper feels like " scratching your butt " I think that would have worked. Ha,ha,ha.
    Have a wonderful & warm Saturday Sandee & Zane. I hope that you, Zane is feeling much better. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:49 am

      Well if you're going to audition you need to ask the right questions. 🙂

  6. May 21, 2016 at 6:04 am

    lol silly dog 🙂 Have a great weekend!

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:49 am

      Yep, I love this joke. 🙂

  7. May 21, 2016 at 6:47 am

    LOL, cute!

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:49 am

      Cute and a lot ironic. 🙂

  8. Jan
    May 21, 2016 at 7:17 am

    He definitely should have known it was DiMaggio. Not a very smart dog even if he can talk.lol

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:50 am

      Better questions would have helped. 🙂

  9. May 21, 2016 at 7:32 am

    LOL this was one of the best that you have ever posted.

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:50 am

      Thanks. I love family friendly jokes. 🙂

  10. May 21, 2016 at 7:56 am

    bwa hahah too funny! Have a lovely day- we had down pouring rain and snow! yes snow! yesterday- but it's sunny today! Cheers1

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:51 am

      Hubby wanted to know if it was going to snow when we visit you next month and I said maybe. 🙂

  11. May 21, 2016 at 8:29 am

    Ha ha! Silly dog! Roof! Roof!

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:52 am

      Silly dog and silly master too. 🙂

  12. May 21, 2016 at 8:30 am

    Always funny!

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:52 am

      Funny and mostly silly over here. 🙂

  13. May 21, 2016 at 9:31 am

    It was the dog owner's fault. Just didn't ask the right questions. My old dog use to talk to me, but now he's silent—guess he knows by now I've heard it all before. After all how many different ways can you say, Roof! Roof!

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:52 am

      I thought the same about the owner. You have to ask the right questions. 🙂

  14. May 21, 2016 at 9:42 am

    LMAO that would have stumped the agent ;-(

    Have a sceptictastic day Sandnee (h)

    • May 21, 2016 at 9:43 am

      Make the most of that extra n LOL [-(

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:53 am

      Yep, it sure would have. 🙂

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:54 am

      Okay, I'll make the most of that extra n. 🙂

  15. May 21, 2016 at 10:54 am

    My dog thinks it's Lou Gehrig. c-)

    • May 21, 2016 at 10:56 am

      You changed "MY" code … :p

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:54 am

      Well, there you go. ":)

    • May 21, 2016 at 11:56 am

      The old code wouldn't work in blogger anymore Odie. 🙂

  16. May 21, 2016 at 4:42 pm

    The dog had it right.Ruth not only hit, he was a helluva pitcher.

    • May 22, 2016 at 8:26 am

      Well, I agree, but the agent didn't get the dog at all. 🙂

  17. May 21, 2016 at 5:13 pm

    LOL!!! Too funny. 🙂

    • May 22, 2016 at 8:26 am

      Mostly silly, but I do silly. 🙂

  18. May 21, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Good one, that was cute. 🙂

    • May 22, 2016 at 8:27 am

      It was cute and so family friendly. 🙂

  19. May 21, 2016 at 8:32 pm

    You only have one opportunity to make a great first impression. Lesson learned. 🙂

    • May 22, 2016 at 8:27 am

      Yep, this is a great lesson learned. 🙂

  20. May 22, 2016 at 1:51 am

    May be dog's language has not lent itself to words other than Rough and Ruth.

    • May 22, 2016 at 8:28 am

      Well, he did say DiMaggio once they were booted out on the street. 🙂

  21. May 23, 2016 at 1:35 pm

    Haha! This is something my dog would do, well if she could talk. There is no performing unless treats and spoiling are involved 🙂

    • May 23, 2016 at 3:50 pm

      It's that the truth. They will do most anything for treats and spoiling. 🙂

  22. May 23, 2016 at 5:21 pm

    An old one but a good one. I think Looney Tunes did a version of it.

    • May 24, 2016 at 10:37 am

      It's an old one indeed, but I still like it. 🙂

  23. May 25, 2016 at 9:15 am

    Lol. That reminds me of the one about the man selling his talking dog. A potential buyer hears the dog recount his days working for the CIA as a spy, working for the DEA, getting honorary degrees, etc. When the man asks the owner why he's selling the dog, the owner replies, "That dog never did any of those things. He's a congenital liar."

    • May 25, 2016 at 12:24 pm

      Yep, I've posted that one too long ago. 🙂

    • May 27, 2016 at 10:07 am

      Oldie but goodie.

    • May 27, 2016 at 10:12 am

      Yep and it's been told so many different ways. 🙂

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