The Cruise

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says ‘I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it’s today.’

The bartender says, ‘Well, since it’s your birthday, I’ll buy you a drink.

As the woman finishes her drink the woman to her right says, ‘I would like to buy you a drink, too.’

The old woman says, ‘Thank you.

Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.’

‘Coming up,’ says the bartender.

As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, ‘I would like to buy you one, too.’

The old woman says, ‘Thank you.’

Bartender, ‘I want another Scotch with two drops of water.’

‘Coming right up’ the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says ‘Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?’

The old woman replies, ‘Sonny, when you’re my age, you’ve learned how to hold your liquor, but holding your water is a whole other issue.’

Hat tip: Jerry T.

Image Credit: Mobile Cuisine

  42 comments for “The Cruise

  1. Ann
    April 9, 2016 at 3:37 am

    LOL, That is way too funny. I don't know if I would ever be able to learn how to hold my liquor though. I probably should have been more careful about laughing out loud too seeing as how I just had a glass of water πŸ™‚

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      Some people can hold their liquor and some can't. I agree with the water part though. πŸ™‚

  2. April 9, 2016 at 3:57 am

    Oh, thank God I drink wine! lol y-)

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      I drink Champagne, so I guess I'm good too. πŸ™‚

  3. April 9, 2016 at 4:45 am

    Heeheehee! She knows her limits!

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:00 pm

      She does seem to have her priorities well laid out too. πŸ™‚

  4. April 9, 2016 at 4:59 am

    LOL – I though the punchline was going to be that she was scamming on her birthday.

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:01 pm

      Nope, she just knows what's more important. The scotch. πŸ™‚

  5. April 9, 2016 at 5:10 am

    Oh my COD, that is funny. And ho so darn true. I really like this one. It strikes home for sure. Sandee, you and Zane have a wonderful day.

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      β™ͺβ™ͺHappy Birthday to you,β™ͺβ™ͺ
      β™ͺβ™ͺHappy Birthday to you,β™ͺβ™ͺ
      β™ͺβ™ͺHappy Birthday Dear Marg,β™ͺβ™ͺ
      β™ͺβ™ͺHappy Birthday to you.β™ͺβ™ͺ

  6. April 9, 2016 at 5:27 am

    Too funny! Like Rhonda, I thought it was going to be that she was scamming people. The real ending was much funnier.

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      Thanks Ellen, I thought so too. πŸ™‚

  7. April 9, 2016 at 5:46 am

    That is a good one πŸ™‚

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:02 pm

      We old ladies know what's important in life. πŸ™‚

  8. April 9, 2016 at 5:58 am

    Thanks Sandee now we know what's to come in later years lmao πŸ™‚

    Have a scotchtastic Saturday πŸ™‚

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:03 pm

      Yes, and I'm already there. πŸ™‚

  9. April 9, 2016 at 5:59 am

    With my prostate problem, I would knock off all water.
    Have a beautiful Saturday Sandee & Zane. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:03 pm

      Well scotch on the rocks works too. πŸ™‚

  10. April 9, 2016 at 6:26 am

    Lol! No wonder I keep going to the loo because I only drink water!

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:03 pm

      Drinking water is a good thing Nancy. Much better for you than drinking lots of scotch. πŸ™‚

  11. April 9, 2016 at 6:29 am

    Haha…pass the wine, please!

    Big hugs, honey…

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Merlot will do just fine won't it. πŸ™‚

  12. April 9, 2016 at 7:24 am

    Gosh, that's funny and SO true.

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      I agree that it's true. πŸ™‚

  13. April 9, 2016 at 7:37 am

    hilariously true!

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:04 pm

      Perhaps scotch neat would be better. πŸ™‚

  14. April 9, 2016 at 10:38 am

    This is so funny!!! LOL! πŸ™‚

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:05 pm

      Thanks Linda. I got a chuckle out of it too. πŸ™‚

  15. April 9, 2016 at 11:14 am

    She's a smart old lady.
    Have a great weekend!

    • April 9, 2016 at 12:08 pm

      She is indeed and she knows what's important in her drinks too. πŸ™‚

    • April 9, 2016 at 3:12 pm

      Water takes up too much space…

    • April 9, 2016 at 3:57 pm

      I agree Mike. My best to Seymour. πŸ™‚

  16. April 9, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    That is not a joke!

    • April 10, 2016 at 7:13 am

      For some it's not, for others it is. πŸ™‚

  17. April 9, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    For fun, she should switch to beer.

    • April 10, 2016 at 7:13 am

      Oh she'll live in the restroom then. πŸ™‚

  18. April 10, 2016 at 8:49 am

    Bwahaha! Oh my goodness now this is funny!!

    Thanks for the laugh πŸ™‚

    • April 10, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      I know this lady too. πŸ™‚

  19. April 11, 2016 at 11:27 am

    I don't know if she'll be holding any of it.

    • April 11, 2016 at 11:53 am

      I thought so too, but she seems to do fine with little water. πŸ™‚

  20. April 11, 2016 at 11:58 am

    First I laughed. Then I thought a lesson in physiology should be in store. Then I reminded myself that it's just a joke. It's a good way to score free drinks πŸ˜‰

    • April 11, 2016 at 12:49 pm

      It's working for her and that's the important part. πŸ™‚

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