The Guillotine

A priest, a politician and an engineer were scheduled to be executed late in the French revolution. It has to be “public”, and people are tired of all the bloodshed, so a crowd of spectators is forcibly rounded up.

The priest is brought up to the guillotine and lays down on the table. The executioner pulls the cord and the heavy steel blade descends … then shudders to a stop in the middle of the track. The executioner is a very smart guy (which is why he is pulling the cord, rather than laying on the table) so he proclaims, “This is a sign from God, that the life of this priest should be spared.” The priest is set free to the delight of the cheering crowd.

Next the politician is brought up and laid on the table. The cord is pulled, and the blade again shudders to a halt in the same place. The executioner proclaims “The grace of God is extended even to this politician.” and the crowd goes wild with joy!

The engineer steps up last and says, “You know, if you tighten that bolt, this thing will work.”

Image Credit: A Truth Soldier

  62 comments for “The Guillotine

  1. March 22, 2016 at 1:31 am

    That's too funny! Thank you! I really needed the laugh today!

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:00 am

      I'm happy to help in the laughter department. πŸ™‚

  2. March 22, 2016 at 1:55 am

    This was so funny that I almost lost my head over it…

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:00 am

      I'm so glad you didn't lose your head. πŸ™‚

  3. Ann
    March 22, 2016 at 2:22 am

    and the moral of the story is it doesn't always pay to be a know it all πŸ™‚

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:01 am

      Engineers are brilliant and so very logical. πŸ™‚

  4. March 22, 2016 at 3:18 am

    LOL – I am married to an engineer, so I'll just smile at this one.

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:04 am

      I know a few engineers too. That's why I liked this one so much. πŸ™‚

  5. March 22, 2016 at 4:52 am

    Leave it to the engineer. Too funny. Sandee, you and Zane have a fantastic day.

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:04 am

      Yep, they are very literal. πŸ™‚

  6. March 22, 2016 at 5:18 am

    Some things are best left unsaid. Just sayin'. πŸ™‚

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:05 am

      And you're an engineer. Retired, but you'll always be an engineer. πŸ™‚

    • March 22, 2016 at 9:33 pm

      Nope, I was an architect and the bolt would have stayed loose. πŸ™‚

    • March 23, 2016 at 7:05 am

      Oh sorry. I got that wrong. I know you'd not say a word though. You're too smart for that. πŸ™‚

  7. March 22, 2016 at 5:41 am

    My friend would love this joke. I'm surprised that the politician lived especially with the way the politicians of today that are running for president. Oh my!. Ha,ha,ha.

    Enjoy Tuesday Sandee & Zane with some sun and warm breeze. See ya my friends.

    Cruisin Paul

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:05 am

      We don't have anybody worth voting for in this race. Neither side. πŸ™‚

  8. March 22, 2016 at 6:05 am

    I am really wondering whether the engineer will be spared if he had not spoken out.

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:06 am

      Probably, but that's not how engineers are wired. πŸ™‚

  9. March 22, 2016 at 6:09 am

    I didn't see how anyone could make a joke out of being decapitated but someone managed it and made me laugh out loud.

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:06 am

      There are jokes about everything under the sun. πŸ™‚

  10. March 22, 2016 at 6:39 am

    LOL—The Engineer was very practical, but not too smart!

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:06 am

      That's the way of an engineer. πŸ™‚

  11. March 22, 2016 at 6:50 am

    Just like an engineer–all practical and NO common sense! Glad mine has both.

    Big hugs from cool WPB, honey…

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:07 am

      Yours has both and we both know that is true. πŸ™‚

  12. March 22, 2016 at 7:04 am

    If you know too much, especially if are an engineer…you will meet your own doomsday!
    Have a great day!

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:07 am

      And you are an engineer too. πŸ™‚

  13. March 22, 2016 at 7:06 am

    ah silly silly engineer! Have a great sharp day!

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:07 am

      You have a great day too sweetie. πŸ™‚

  14. March 22, 2016 at 8:03 am

    Yup, that's my hubby! Lol :))

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:08 am

      I thought of Bill when I read this. πŸ™‚

  15. March 22, 2016 at 8:14 am

    Engineers, improving our lives in so many ways.

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:08 am

      Yes, they do that for sure. πŸ™‚

  16. March 22, 2016 at 8:34 am

    Hilarious! πŸ™‚

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:08 am

      It's just how engineers roll. πŸ™‚

  17. March 22, 2016 at 9:03 am

    Oh my…:-SS

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:08 am

      If you know an engineer you know this is spot on. πŸ™‚

  18. March 22, 2016 at 9:11 am

    Best engineer joke ever!

  19. March 22, 2016 at 9:57 am

    LMAO that engineer didn't think before he spoke haha!

    Have a beheadlesstastic day Sandee :-h

    • March 22, 2016 at 10:09 am

      Know they just figure how how to make things work. πŸ™‚

  20. March 22, 2016 at 11:37 am

    I saw this one coming. In the version I heard, it was a polish man at the end πŸ˜‰

    • March 22, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      That works too. πŸ™‚

  21. March 22, 2016 at 12:13 pm


    • March 22, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      I know so many engineers and this is spot on. πŸ™‚

  22. March 22, 2016 at 1:17 pm

    A day for humor with an edge to it…Seymour just gave me a pet rock *face palm*…

    • March 22, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      I love Seymour. He's a great pet rock. πŸ™‚

  23. March 22, 2016 at 3:41 pm

    Literally laughing out-loud!Thank you, Sandee.

    Great post!

    "Big hugs"

    • March 23, 2016 at 7:03 am

      You're welcome Annie. πŸ™‚

  24. March 22, 2016 at 4:16 pm

    Haha. Good one! Too smart for his own good, huh?!

    • March 23, 2016 at 7:04 am

      Yep, way too smart. πŸ™‚

  25. March 22, 2016 at 5:47 pm

    Heeheehee! Some people just don't know when to stay quiet!

    • March 23, 2016 at 7:04 am

      This is very true. Yes it is. πŸ™‚

  26. March 22, 2016 at 8:03 pm

    I have an engineer in my life who would do just that same thing!!

    • March 23, 2016 at 7:04 am

      I know some too and it's amazing. πŸ™‚

  27. LAC
    March 23, 2016 at 11:11 am

    Guess he learned his lesson too late. CHOP!

    • March 23, 2016 at 2:21 pm

      Sometimes you need to keep things to yourself. πŸ™‚

  28. March 23, 2016 at 5:25 pm

    And that was his last suggestion.

    • March 24, 2016 at 8:05 am

      Yes, his absolute last suggestion. πŸ™‚

  29. March 24, 2016 at 7:46 pm

    Y'know sometimes it's better not to be too smart.

    • March 25, 2016 at 11:07 am

      I agree Tony. πŸ™‚

  30. March 25, 2016 at 11:29 pm

    He's smart, that engineer …. but not THAT smart.

    • March 26, 2016 at 6:28 am

      Yes smart, but not that smart. πŸ™‚

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