The Hypnotist

A woman comes home and tells her husband, ‘Remember those headaches I’ve been having all these years? Well, they’re gone.’

‘No more headaches?’ the husband asks, ‘What happened?’

His wife replies, ‘Angie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat,

I do not have a headache

I do not have a headache

I do not have a headache

Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.’

‘Well, that is wonderful’ proclaims the husband.

His wife then says, ‘You know, you haven’t been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years. Why don’t you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?’

Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it.

Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, ‘Don’t move, I’ll be right back.’

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before.

His wife says, ‘WOW! – that was wonderful!’

The husband says, ‘Don’t move! I will be right back.’

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time.

The wife sits up and her head is spinning ‘OH MY GOD’ she proclaims.

Her husband again says, ‘Don’t move, I’ll be right back.’

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror and saying ….

She’s not my wife

She’s not my wife

She’s not my wife

His funeral service will be held Tuesday.

Hat tip: Linda W.
Image Credit: Publog

  40 comments for “The Hypnotist

  1. February 27, 2016 at 2:16 am

    LOL – Can't say I blame her for her response to his mantra.

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:54 am

      Kind of an ego buster indeed. πŸ™‚

  2. Ann
    February 27, 2016 at 2:37 am

    I don't know if I would have gone as far as killing him after all it was the hypnotist who put that suggestion in his head. Maybe just let the headaches come back.

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:55 am

      Killing him was a bit over the top, but he should have ever let her know what the hypnotist did or suggested. πŸ™‚

  3. February 27, 2016 at 3:13 am

    He'd still be alive if he simply put a bag over her head.

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:56 am

      I'm not so sure that would have went over any better. πŸ™‚

  4. February 27, 2016 at 4:37 am

    So much for that hypnotist. Kind of sad. Anyway, Sandee, you and Zane have a super Saturday.

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:57 am

      It's more than sad. There were two people that probably should have been together in the first place. πŸ™‚

  5. February 27, 2016 at 5:50 am

    I don't understand it. The wife was the one that told her husband hadn't been great in the sack. So why was she upset? I guess women want everything. Ha,ha,ha. It's just a joke ladies.
    Have an enjoyable Saturday Sandee & Zane. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:57 am

      Because she overheard him in the bathroom saying "She isn't my wife." πŸ™‚

  6. February 27, 2016 at 6:23 am

    I say "What ever does the trick!"

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:58 am

      As long as you keep it to yourself if it's hurtful. πŸ™‚

  7. February 27, 2016 at 6:40 am

    Oh my goodness! I think he met with a fitting end!

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:58 am

      Well, he was pretty awful wasn't he. πŸ™‚

  8. February 27, 2016 at 7:05 am

    Hahahahahaaaaa…good one!
    Have a great day!

    • February 27, 2016 at 10:59 am

      I thought it was pretty funny too. πŸ™‚

  9. February 27, 2016 at 7:14 am

    The hypnotist better watch his or her back.

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:00 am

      I'm thinking you're right here. πŸ™‚

  10. February 27, 2016 at 7:25 am

    LOL! Not the punch line I expected.

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:01 am

      I didn't expect it either. πŸ™‚

  11. February 27, 2016 at 7:27 am

    Ya, it's the hypnotist that should be in trouble. LOL

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:02 am

      Well, his work is working. Not well, but it was working for her and for him. πŸ™‚

  12. February 27, 2016 at 9:05 am

    which came first the headaches or ? Have a great Saturday!

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:02 am

      I don't know Kathe, but it's a good question. πŸ™‚

  13. February 27, 2016 at 9:10 am

    LOL well I think she should blame the hypnotist LOL

    Have a hypnotictastic day :-h

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:03 am

      Her husband didn't have to say that out loud though. πŸ™‚

  14. February 27, 2016 at 9:38 am

    Rest in peace! Hahaha.

    Happy Saturday.

    Big hugs, honey…

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:03 am

      Let's hope he does. πŸ™‚

  15. February 27, 2016 at 10:51 am

    Laughing….Great one, as usual, sorry for my absences, I had a weird Facebook experience that took me a few days to clear up. I about to post your Bucket list. It was fun.

    Happy Saturday and as always thanks for a great laugh…

    "Big Bugs"

    • February 27, 2016 at 11:04 am

      Happy Saturday to you too. πŸ™‚

  16. February 27, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    Seymour says he doesn't get it. My turn for a *face palm*

    • February 28, 2016 at 7:18 am

      Well, I still love Seymour even when he doesn't get stuff. πŸ™‚

  17. February 27, 2016 at 5:29 pm

    It would work, most likely! Heeheehee!

    • February 28, 2016 at 7:18 am

      I'm guessing you're right. πŸ™‚

  18. February 28, 2016 at 5:45 am

    Why does, "Don't look at gift horse in the mouth." come to mind?

    • February 28, 2016 at 7:19 am

      I'm with you on this. Who cares about the how. πŸ™‚

  19. February 28, 2016 at 9:36 pm

    HaHaHaHaHaHa! Those things do happen don't they? I sure loved this story. I will be back for Aw…Monday. I am all set and ready to play! Have a great week! xo Anne

    • February 29, 2016 at 7:42 am

      Yes they do. I hope you're feeling better too. πŸ™‚

  20. February 29, 2016 at 10:37 am

    And he deserved it.

    • February 29, 2016 at 2:57 pm

      Letting her overhear him I'm going to agree with you. πŸ™‚

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