Husband 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?



Dear Desperate,

First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Hat tip: Linda W.

Image Credit: Mobile PC Medics

  44 comments for “Husband 1.0

  1. February 2, 2016 at 1:17 am

    hmmm… I am currently running Husband 2.0 and so far, all systems seem to be running smoothly.


    big hugs xoxo

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:28 pm

      I'm with you Barb. I'm not having any issues either. πŸ™‚

  2. February 2, 2016 at 2:00 am

    Oh my gosh, LMAO! This is so funny!!! πŸ˜€ They are definitely correct about the MIL program, too. HAHA. Day made, thanks Sandee! πŸ˜€

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:28 pm

      Yes, that MIL program can be a total disaster. πŸ™‚

  3. February 2, 2016 at 2:16 am

    Hi Sandee, great sharing! Lol! I am learning about so many new application software programs in one day! Have a beautiful day!

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      These are very tricky programs too. πŸ™‚

  4. February 2, 2016 at 2:32 am

    LOL that's quite clever and much more straight forward than Windows 10 LOL

    Have a techietastic day Sandee :-f

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      Almost everything is easier than Windows 10. πŸ™‚

  5. February 2, 2016 at 5:23 am

    Haha! Very witty. I love the suggestion to install tears 6.2. Computers and love are such tricky things. There should be an operating guide for both πŸ™‚

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      Yep, well you have to install that to get the jewelry and other goodies. πŸ™‚

  6. February 2, 2016 at 5:30 am

    Heeheehee! After about 30 years, Husband 1.0 starts to relearn a bit of Boyfriend 5.0 — if you are lucky!

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:30 pm

      That's a very good thing. πŸ™‚

  7. February 2, 2016 at 5:57 am

    Priceless! Simply priceless.
    However, since we were married long before computers and tech support, we've found that nothing replaces mutual support and encouragement. Since every couple is different, no single application will run the same in every marriage system, but Unconditional Love 1.0, Honor 5.0 and Mutual Respect 10.0 will go a long way toward preventing any system crashes. Just sayin'.

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      Mutual support, encouragement and loyalty is the best way to go. πŸ™‚

  8. February 2, 2016 at 5:57 am

    Hubby def has that Farting and Snoring Beta going on! Haha.

    Big hugs, honey…

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      Bless his heart. It's the way of things. πŸ™‚

  9. February 2, 2016 at 6:20 am

    I can't believe I understand all that. Very cute!

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:31 pm

      And it's so true in many relationships. πŸ™‚

  10. February 2, 2016 at 6:43 am

    Really good, Sandee. Thank you πŸ™‚

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      You're welcome Alec. πŸ™‚

  11. February 2, 2016 at 7:20 am

    LOL. This isn't something I will show the same 'operating system' I've had for 33 years. Don't think he'd be a fan.

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      You and I did very well. We don't need to share this at all. πŸ™‚

  12. February 2, 2016 at 8:29 am

    Installing Silence 1.0 will work wonders.

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:32 pm

      For some it's essential and for both the man and the woman. πŸ™‚

  13. February 2, 2016 at 9:15 am

    TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo catchatwithcarenandcody

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:33 pm

      My buddy Linda W. has a great sense of humor. I love what she sends me. πŸ™‚

  14. February 2, 2016 at 11:06 am

    That is hysterical and so in tune with the modern world. Too much tech for this old lady. But that is the way of things these days. I did get a good laugh out of all this.

    • February 2, 2016 at 12:33 pm

      I hear you Marg. Too much technical stuff for me too. πŸ™‚

  15. February 2, 2016 at 1:49 pm

    The war of the sexes continues!

    • February 2, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      I'm sure it will never end. I'm glad I don't play. I think men and women should compliment each other, not dwell on the differences. πŸ™‚

  16. February 2, 2016 at 2:10 pm

    Sandee, this is hysterical…I like this, "does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly."

    Thanks for the laugh, as always.

    Have a great Tuesday!

    "Big hugs" :))

    • February 2, 2016 at 2:13 pm

      I found this pretty funny too and I know many that act just like this. Really, and I bet you do too.

      Big hugs. πŸ™‚

  17. Ann
    February 2, 2016 at 4:51 pm

    After running husband 1.0 and 2.0 I'm wondering why I didn't just stick with the entertainment package πŸ™‚

    • February 2, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      I did well this time around, but I could have passed on the first one. πŸ™‚

  18. February 2, 2016 at 5:05 pm

    this is tooooooooooo funny! Cheers!

    • February 3, 2016 at 6:08 am

      Sad in spots too, but mostly funny. πŸ™‚

  19. February 2, 2016 at 6:14 pm

    Funny but Ann's comment is funny too! My husband 1.0 is running just fine!

    Hope you had a great Tortie Tuesday!

    • February 3, 2016 at 6:09 am

      Ann comes up with some great comments doesn't she. Yes she does. πŸ™‚

  20. February 2, 2016 at 9:17 pm

    No beer, but has farting and snoring here. Tried guilt, laughter 1.0 came out in him. So I installed "dammit, I'll do it my own damn self"1.0! Hahahaha!

    By the way, I flunked computers in college..

    • February 3, 2016 at 6:09 am

      I love your additions. πŸ™‚

  21. February 3, 2016 at 5:34 pm

    Maybe he needs to be recalled for a complete systems upgrade. Or just trade him in for a newer model.

    • February 4, 2016 at 6:05 am

      Oh the newer model one is very dangerous. πŸ™‚

  22. February 11, 2016 at 10:54 am

    This is brilliant. So funny. And a little bit true. Although my upgrade came with cooking 5.0 and I can fix anything 7.1

    • February 11, 2016 at 11:48 am

      Oh you have some wonderful software programs. Good for you. πŸ™‚

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