Retardment Grandparents

After Christmas vacation, a teacher asked her young pupils how they spent their holiday away from school. One child wrote the following:

We always used to spend the holidays with Grandma and Grandpa. They used to live in a big brick house but Grandpa got retarded and they moved to Stayyoung Bay in Florida where everyone lives in nice little houses, and so they don’t have to mow the grass anymore!

They ride around on their bicycles and scooters and wear name tags because they don’t know who they are anymore. They go to a building called a wreck center, but they must have got it fixed because it is all okay now. They do exercises there, but they don’t do them very well.

There is a swimming pool too, but they all jump up and down in it with hats on.

At their gate, there is a doll house with a little old man sitting in it. He watches all day so nobody can escape. Sometimes they sneak out, and go cruising in their golf carts!

Nobody there cooks, they just eat out. And, they eat the same thing every night – early birds.

Some of the people can’t get out past the man in the doll house. The ones who do get out, bring food back to the wrecked center for pot luck.

My Grandma says that Grandpa worked all his life to earn his retardment and says I should work hard so I can be retarded someday too.

When I earn my retardment, I want to be the man in the doll house. Then I will let people out, so they can visit their grandchildren.

Hat tip: Georgia L.

Image Credit: Fl Over 55

  44 comments for “Retardment Grandparents

  1. January 16, 2016 at 1:35 am

    What a great story about retardment! Ha ha I have earned my retardment/retirement and now I am jobless!

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:05 am

      I earned mine too and it's wonderful. πŸ™‚

  2. Ann
    January 16, 2016 at 3:49 am

    Love this story. So cute. Makes me want to be retarded that much sooner πŸ™‚

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:05 am

      You'll love it Ann. It's most wonderful. πŸ™‚

  3. January 16, 2016 at 4:35 am

    I enjoyed that it was funny and sweet at the same time heheh!

    Have a cutetastic day Sandee πŸ™‚

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:07 am

      Kids see things so differently don't they. πŸ™‚

  4. January 16, 2016 at 5:28 am

    I'm loving retardment here in W Palm Beach for the winter. Today we have sun…finally! Loving the early birds, too.

    Big hugs, honey…

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:07 am

      I know you are honey. It's wonderful not having to go to work everyday. πŸ™‚

  5. January 16, 2016 at 5:40 am

    That is such a great story. And some of us older folks are retarded just from being retired. Sandee, you and Zane have a most wonderful week end.

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:07 am

      This is true Marg. Great observation. πŸ™‚

  6. January 16, 2016 at 5:47 am

    I'm so glad that I reached my retardment so that I was able to go on a big boat and cruise around big land places.

    Have retardment Saturday Sandee & Zane. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:08 am

      You've got 13 days until cruise time. I know you're excited. πŸ™‚

  7. January 16, 2016 at 6:10 am

    Bwahaha! Oh this is funny1 Gotta share this one with the family! Happy Saturday!

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:08 am

      Out of the mouth of babes. They see things so simply. πŸ™‚

  8. January 16, 2016 at 6:48 am

    Grandparents abode from the point of view of innocent kid and its genuine wish. Funny too!
    Have a great day!

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:08 am

      Yes it is, yes it is. πŸ™‚

  9. January 16, 2016 at 7:11 am

    What a cute story.

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:08 am

      I thought so too Jean. πŸ™‚

  10. January 16, 2016 at 8:51 am

    Good story…

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:09 am

      And cute too. πŸ™‚

  11. January 16, 2016 at 9:12 am

    Such a cute story!!! πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

    • January 16, 2016 at 10:09 am

      Kids live in a magical world. To see life from their point of view is most charming. πŸ™‚

  12. January 16, 2016 at 1:29 pm

    very cute and sweet- plus hilarious! Have a super day and big hugs to you and Zane!

    • January 16, 2016 at 1:58 pm

      It is very cute and sweet. You and Russell have a great day and weekend. Big hugs back. πŸ™‚

  13. January 16, 2016 at 2:58 pm

    I was born retarded.

    • January 16, 2016 at 3:07 pm

      Me too and it's way more fun than being normal. Whatever normal it. πŸ™‚

  14. January 16, 2016 at 3:06 pm

    And where is this place? I can be packed in an hour.

    • January 16, 2016 at 3:08 pm

      Come on over and I'll show you Marti. πŸ™‚

  15. January 16, 2016 at 3:58 pm

    Come to think of it, I've been retarded for 13 years now. C-)

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      I retired in 2003 so this will be my 13th year too. Love it. πŸ™‚

  16. January 16, 2016 at 4:30 pm

    Adorable! I hope you're having a great Saturday, Sandee.

    "Big Hugs" to ya. :)))

    • January 16, 2016 at 4:37 pm

      We are having a great Saturday Annie.

      Big hugs back. πŸ™‚

  17. January 16, 2016 at 7:00 pm

    Heeheehee! It sounds like "retardment" is worth it!

    • January 17, 2016 at 7:22 am

      Oh it's worth it. You'll see one of these days. πŸ™‚

  18. January 16, 2016 at 11:04 pm

    Some day I"m going to be retarded too πŸ˜€

    • January 17, 2016 at 7:22 am

      Right now you're having a great time teaching all your little ones. πŸ™‚

  19. January 17, 2016 at 6:26 pm

    I've been retarded almost three years now. I think I'll stay that way. The grandcrew are welcome anytime.

    • January 18, 2016 at 7:05 am

      You and I are on the same page. Yes we are. πŸ™‚

  20. January 18, 2016 at 1:32 am

    My dad eats early birds too. Love this story. Kids say the cutest things.

    • January 18, 2016 at 7:06 am

      Kids see things so differently than we do. It's wonderful. πŸ™‚

  21. January 18, 2016 at 11:40 am

    A lot of us will probably end up there.

    • January 18, 2016 at 12:29 pm

      I'm not there yet, but getting closer all the time. πŸ™‚

  22. January 20, 2016 at 10:26 am

    Aww love it!
    This is the kind of retardment I want, someday, in 20-some years.

    • January 20, 2016 at 10:36 am

      You'll love it when it arrives. We sure do. πŸ™‚

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