Cerebral Witticisms

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before.

Shotgun wedding – a case of wife or death.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I.

What’s the definition of a will? (It’s a dead give-away.)

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Image Credit: Quotes-LOL-ROFL

  46 comments for “Cerebral Witticisms

  1. December 8, 2015 at 1:07 am

    Another great list. I like the "an I for an I"! Have a beautiful day, Sandee!

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      I'm glad you enjoyed this Nancy. πŸ™‚

  2. December 8, 2015 at 1:40 am

    Those are funny, right up my alley. πŸ™‚

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:03 pm

      I like it that it's right up your alley. πŸ™‚

  3. Ann
    December 8, 2015 at 1:58 am

    Love these. I should print them and use on my index cards after Christmas

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:12 pm

      Help yourself Ann. They would make great index cards. πŸ™‚

  4. December 8, 2015 at 3:35 am

    What a great witty list. Love me some mind candy.

    Big hugs, honey…

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      I love the play on words too Sandy. πŸ™‚

  5. December 8, 2015 at 4:15 am

    LOL loved these very witty πŸ™‚

    Have a wittytastic day Sandee :-h

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:16 pm

      You have a wittytastic day too Steve. πŸ™‚

  6. December 8, 2015 at 4:31 am

    Heeheehee! Dead giveaway! (That's the one i'll be chuckling over all day.)

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:18 pm

      Well, it's true isn't it. πŸ™‚

  7. December 8, 2015 at 5:01 am

    He he he we love them =))

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:25 pm

      I'm glad that you do. πŸ™‚

  8. December 8, 2015 at 5:12 am

    ROTFL Sandee! I am sipping a nice hot cup of tea now and I love these, thanks so much! The Pavlov has me especially laughing the hardest. πŸ™‚

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      You're most welcome Linda. πŸ™‚

  9. December 8, 2015 at 5:15 am

    a dead give-away… bahahaha! w-) These were all good, especially since I hadn't heard most of them before.

    Have a terrific toosdee, Sandee! big hugs xoxo

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:29 pm

      They have been around a very long time. I get pretty lazy when I have busy weekends. πŸ™‚

  10. December 8, 2015 at 6:06 am

    I sent this to my wife especially the last one. Mary Lou finally decided to have Acupuncture. She's the one that hated needled but she had it done and she liked it. WOW!

    Have a needleistic Tuesday Sandee. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:30 pm

      I hear acupuncture works very well. I'd do it if I needed to. πŸ™‚

  11. December 8, 2015 at 6:26 am

    These are really funny and clever! My favorite is: Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:30 pm

      I love play on words stuff. So clever. πŸ™‚

  12. December 8, 2015 at 7:02 am

    Ha!!! These were great! Thanks so much for sharing! xoxoxo catchatwithcarenandcody

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:30 pm

      You're most welcome Caren. Scritches to Cody and Dakota. πŸ™‚

  13. December 8, 2015 at 7:15 am

    Hahaha! Too funny! I don't know which is my favorite? The egotists, the will, being well red. All good! Thanks for this happy start to my day!

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:31 pm

      I hope your entire day is happy Jen. πŸ™‚

  14. December 8, 2015 at 9:08 am

    bwa hahah these are all good ones- now I am going to go boil my morning egg! It truly can't be beat! Hugs!

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:33 pm

      I love soft boiled eggs for breakfast. Yummy. πŸ™‚

  15. December 8, 2015 at 9:46 am

    That hangover one was my pick—all to familiar with them over my many years!

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:34 pm

      It's been a lot of years since I've had a hangover. Many years. I'm happy about that. πŸ™‚

  16. December 8, 2015 at 10:07 am

    Love the wordplay.

    • December 8, 2015 at 12:34 pm

      Wordplay is grand fun. πŸ™‚

  17. December 8, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Those are terrific. Someone who wrote those has a great sense of humor. They are well written. Sandee, you and Zane have a great day.

    • December 8, 2015 at 1:28 pm

      I love wordplay. You have a great day too Marg. Scritches to all the babies. πŸ™‚

  18. December 8, 2015 at 1:27 pm

    Here are a few more from "Eric":

    * To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
    * Man who eat crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
    * He who keeps both feet on the ground will have problem putting on pants.
    * The sausage maker backed up into the grinder and got a little behind in his work.
    * Small babies arrive by stork. The larger ones require a crane.
    * Average things are made in the satisfactory.

    Enjoy!
    Alec

    • December 8, 2015 at 1:37 pm

      Oh these are a nice addition Alec. Thank you so much. πŸ™‚

  19. December 8, 2015 at 3:41 pm

    All so cute. This is the type of humor my husband is into. Pun-based humor.

    • December 8, 2015 at 4:29 pm

      I love this kind of humor too. πŸ™‚

  20. December 8, 2015 at 11:04 pm

    Those are all pretty funny but the first one is my favorite for whatever reason πŸ™‚

    • December 9, 2015 at 7:24 am

      I love wordplay stuff. πŸ™‚

  21. December 9, 2015 at 6:21 am

    I've seen too many malls.

    • December 9, 2015 at 7:24 am

      I'm not a fan of malls. πŸ™‚

  22. December 9, 2015 at 2:21 pm

    Tee her! The Dijon one is my favorite. Have a great day! Btw, congrats on change of watch!

    • December 9, 2015 at 3:41 pm

      You're most welcome. It was a fun evening and it went well. πŸ™‚

  23. December 11, 2015 at 9:44 am

    Seymour adds the tale of the optometrist that fell into a lens grinding machine and made spectacles of himself…*never mind..I'll take the boos and throwd whatever's handy*

    • December 11, 2015 at 10:38 am

      I love Seymour. Please tell him that. πŸ™‚

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