The Coffin

Bump, behind him. Walking faster he looks back, and makes out the image of an upright coffin
 banging its way down the middle of the street towards him, 
bump, bump, bump.

Terrified, the man begins to run towards home, the coffin bouncing
 faster, faster, faster, faster. 
Bump, bump, bump

He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes in, slams and locks the door behind him

However, the coffin crashes through his door with the lid of the coffin clapping
, clappity-bump, clappity-bump, clappity-bump, 
on the heels of the terrified man.

Rushing upstairs to the bathroom the man locks himself in. His heart is pounding, his head is reeling, his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.

With a loud CRASH the coffin breaks down the door, bumping and clapping towards him

The man screams and reaches for something, anything, but all he can find is a bottle of 
cough syrup
. Desperate he throws the cough syrup at the coffin. 
The coffin stops.

Happy Halloween!

Image Credit: Scare FX

  46 comments for “The Coffin

  1. October 31, 2015 1:39 am at 1:39 am

    Gawwwwd, I am sooooo pathetic I had to read that twice before I got it. d(

    big hugs xoxo

    • October 31, 2015 10:22 am at 10:22 am

      And I figured I'd get a huge 'groan' from you. 🙂

  2. Ann
    October 31, 2015 2:58 am at 2:58 am

    oooh spooky. I'm going to check the medicine cabinet for cough syrup. I think I'll want to carry a bottle around with me today. Or better yet maybe a gun that shoots cough drops?

    • October 31, 2015 10:51 am at 10:51 am

      I thought it was corny, but it's Halloween. 🙂

  3. October 31, 2015 3:51 am at 3:51 am

    lol I get it. 😉 Sending the link to friend in e-mail. That's good stuff. 🙂 Happy Halloween!

    • October 31, 2015 10:51 am at 10:51 am

      It's kind of a cute joke for Halloween. 🙂

  4. October 31, 2015 4:39 am at 4:39 am

    LMAO oh! the tension haha!

    Have a cofftastic day g-)

    • October 31, 2015 10:51 am at 10:51 am

      It was pretty tense wasn't it. 🙂

  5. October 31, 2015 4:52 am at 4:52 am

    A Halloween-themed joke. Love it! Interesting story–I was writing a story for a client of mine and had to contact different funeral homes to ask if anyone ever bought coffins for Halloween. The answer was…uh…NO. (Said with a weird, "Why would anyone do that?" question in their voices!) Indeed, you can buy fake, cheap costumes for decorating, but my client thought some people might be REALLY committed to their decorations!

    • October 31, 2015 10:52 am at 10:52 am

      I'll bet someone has done just this very thing. How spooky. 🙂

  6. October 31, 2015 5:46 am at 5:46 am

    Halloween deserves a good groan!

    • October 31, 2015 10:53 am at 10:53 am

      I thought this was a huge groan. 🙂

  7. October 31, 2015 6:00 am at 6:00 am

    Well, I read it twice but I still don't get it. LOL Fun to read though.

    • October 31, 2015 10:53 am at 10:53 am

      Coughing, instead of coffin, might help you understand this one. 🙂

  8. October 31, 2015 6:06 am at 6:06 am

    Tap Tap Tap
    Two men were walking home after a Halloween party and decided to take a shortcut through the cemetery just for laughs. Right in the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap -tapping noise coming from the misty shadows. Trembling with fear, they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, chipping away at one of the headstones. "Holy cow, Mister," one of them said after catching his breath, "You scared us half to death — we thought you were a ghost! What are you doing working here so late at night?" "Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

    Happy Halloween Saturday Sandee. Boo.

    Cruisin Paul

    • October 31, 2015 6:51 am at 6:51 am


    • October 31, 2015 10:54 am at 10:54 am

      Love this Paul. It's better than mine. 🙂

    • October 31, 2015 10:54 am at 10:54 am

      Paul did very well didn't he. 🙂

  9. October 31, 2015 6:09 am at 6:09 am

    Heeheehee! To your joke and Paul's!

    • October 31, 2015 10:54 am at 10:54 am

      Yep, Paul's is way better than mine. 🙂

  10. October 31, 2015 6:30 am at 6:30 am

    Hey, Paul..we got a twofer today! Hahahahaha

    Happy Halloween. Big hugs, honey…

    • October 31, 2015 10:55 am at 10:55 am

      Yes we did honey. 🙂

  11. October 31, 2015 7:47 am at 7:47 am

    Hahahaha!! Oh this is a good one I am going to have to share this with my family! Happy Halloween to you😀

    • October 31, 2015 10:55 am at 10:55 am

      Share away. It's corny, but I thought it was cute. 🙂

  12. October 31, 2015 8:01 am at 8:01 am

    I am so glad and relieved we do not celebrate Halloween over here! Or else I have to buy a few bottles of cough syrup!

    • October 31, 2015 10:56 am at 10:56 am

      You'll not need the cough syrup. 🙂

  13. October 31, 2015 8:58 am at 8:58 am

    bwa hahahah Happy Halloween!

    • October 31, 2015 10:57 am at 10:57 am

      Happy Halloween to you too Kathe. 🙂

  14. October 31, 2015 12:35 pm at 12:35 pm

    Robitussin can beat death? I'm in.

  15. October 31, 2015 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm

    LOL Sandee! I never use cough syrup, I make my own with ginger, lemon and honey. 🙂 Happy Halloween to you.

    • November 1, 2015 6:23 am at 6:23 am

      My mother did something similar. I'm guessing it works just as good and perhaps better. 🙂

  16. October 31, 2015 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm

    Oh, you had me…b-( Great plays on words…laughing..Happy Halloween!


    • November 1, 2015 6:23 am at 6:23 am

      I loved the play on words too. 🙂

  17. October 31, 2015 3:23 pm at 3:23 pm

    I posted the wrong Emoticon. Gosh, this one looks mad…laughing..I'm going to try it again,

    • November 1, 2015 6:24 am at 6:24 am

      It's easy to do. I do it all the time. 🙂

  18. October 31, 2015 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm

    Alright, one more time…b-( If this doesn't do it, it's supposed to be the HELP, Emoticon.


    • November 1, 2015 6:24 am at 6:24 am

      I think it's the same one, but whatever. 🙂

  19. November 1, 2015 1:22 am at 1:22 am

    I thought it was really funny but Michelle gave the punchline the "Groan" of the week award Sandee 😛

    • November 1, 2015 6:25 am at 6:25 am

      It is a groan joke. A huge groan joke. 🙂

  20. November 2, 2015 2:19 am at 2:19 am

    LOL – Funny play on words. and yes, a big groan.

    • November 2, 2015 5:50 am at 5:50 am

      It was a big groan indeed, but so Halloween. 🙂

  21. November 2, 2015 12:48 pm at 12:48 pm

    Good thing I read this after Halloween or I would've been carrying a bottle of cough syrup. I mean you never know when a coffin will come a bumping 😉

    • November 2, 2015 2:47 pm at 2:47 pm

      I thought it was a groaner, but it did make me laugh. 🙂

  22. November 2, 2015 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm

    They should teach that in vampire hunter's school.

    • November 2, 2015 3:56 pm at 3:56 pm

      Good plan Binky, good plan. 🙂

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