Out of Office

Best ‘Out of Office’ Automatic Email Replies:

I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn’t have received anything at all.

Sorry to have missed you, but I’m at the doctor’s having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

Image Credit: Raluca Tarcea

  44 comments for “Out of Office

  1. August 29, 2015 at 2:56 am

    Too funny. Like the 'Out of the office' one. So typical. Sandee, you and Zane and Little Bit have a fantastic week end.

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:15 am

      Some folks are very clever aren't they. 🙂

  2. August 29, 2015 at 3:05 am

    Sounds pretty accurate in certain case scenarios. 😉

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:15 am

      Yes it does. I heard some good ones here and there. 🙂

  3. Ann
    August 29, 2015 at 3:13 am

    these are hysterical. I like the at the doctors having heart and brain removed. That would give anyone a better chance at a management position

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:16 am

      That's what happens with many that go into management. 🙂

  4. August 29, 2015 at 3:21 am

    Oh, that we could charge people for all of the crap emails we have to delete…

    Have a perfect day, Sandee! big hugs xoxo

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:16 am

      I would be lovely wouldn't it. 🙂

  5. August 29, 2015 at 5:10 am

    LOL, love these…especially that last one. Or meetings…"Your credit card will be charged for every minute of my time you waste in useless meetings." People wonder why I refuse to talk on the phone to clients anymore. If they can't give me assignments and feedback in email, I don't want to work with them. Like in the office, in the freelance world people who want to talk on the phone just want to listen to themselves ramble.

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:17 am

      We used to have to management meetings every Monday. One at 9 with the division staff and one at 1 with the sheriff. Every single Monday. My in basket was overflowing. 🙂

  6. August 29, 2015 at 5:18 am

    How tempting it is to write my own version of the 'out of the office' message. Love these.

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:18 am

      Very tempting Jean, very tempting. 🙂

  7. August 29, 2015 at 5:38 am

    Love these. So glad I am basically retired. Life is good!

    Have a fab weekend. Scritches to LB. Big hugs times two, honey…

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:18 am

      I'm retired and I'm happy about that. Life is indeed good. 🙂

  8. August 29, 2015 at 7:16 am

    LOL these are brilliant haha!

    Have a messagetastic day Sandee g-)

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:18 am

      Yes they are and there are more to come. 🙂

  9. August 29, 2015 at 7:36 am

    LOL!!! These are absolutely hilarious, Sandee! It reminds me of a video I saw on YouTube quite a while ago, it is less than two minutes long, I thought you would enjoy it. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lQgXhEEpORw
    Thank you so much for the laughter, Sandee, you are the best. 🙂

    • August 29, 2015 at 8:19 am

      I love that video Linda. I've heard it before. It should be the answering machine in every school. 🙂

  10. August 29, 2015 at 8:34 am

    Gee whiz- I wish I'd had these when I was working! Have a fantastic Saturday and hugs all 'round!

    • August 29, 2015 at 9:09 am

      Me too, but we probably wouldn't be allowed to use any of them. 🙂

  11. August 29, 2015 at 8:38 am

    That gives me an idea … c-)

    • August 29, 2015 at 9:09 am

      I'll bet it does Odie. You've a very wonderful mind. 🙂

  12. August 29, 2015 at 9:16 am

    Your post reached me when I wasn't here. Next time, post when I'm in.

    • August 29, 2015 at 10:39 am

      I'll try to do better. 🙂

  13. August 29, 2015 at 9:22 am


    • August 29, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Some folks are very creative. 🙂

  14. August 29, 2015 at 10:16 am

    Love it!

    • August 29, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Me too, me too. 🙂

  15. August 29, 2015 at 3:55 pm

    My old phone message was: (voice of Curly from Three Stooges).."oh look…you bent the chisel! (voice of Moe): "I'll straighten that…" (voice of Curly)…"nyuk nyuk nyuk *metallic BONK*…OW!" About 3/4s of the callers never bothered with a message 😉

    • August 29, 2015 at 4:07 pm

      Oh good one. I like this and it's so you or did Seymour do this? One never knows with the two of you. 🙂

  16. August 29, 2015 at 4:59 pm

    Heeheehee! The one about the brain and heart removal is especially good!

    • August 30, 2015 at 6:06 am

      We always said you need a frontal lobotomy when you became management. 🙂

  17. August 29, 2015 at 8:23 pm

    These were great! The management one was my fave!

    • August 30, 2015 at 6:06 am

      My favorite too Caren. 🙂

  18. August 29, 2015 at 10:42 pm

    Hi Sandee, this is hilarious! Blessed Sunday!

    • August 30, 2015 at 6:06 am

      Some people have such great imaginations.

      Have a blessed Sunday too. 🙂

  19. August 30, 2015 at 6:05 am

    I'm pretty sure that number 4 happens most of the time, but no one will admit to it. Love 'em all.

    • August 30, 2015 at 6:07 am

      I'm pretty sure this happens often too. 🙂

  20. August 30, 2015 at 10:58 pm

    These are great, the third one (brain and heart removed) is my favorite. I was laughing so hard had to stop before I could finish the list.

    • August 31, 2015 at 2:54 pm

      My favorite too. Some folks have a wicked sense of humor. 🙂

  21. August 31, 2015 at 3:25 pm

    Those should scare off your customers!

    • August 31, 2015 at 4:17 pm

      They sure should. 🙂

  22. September 1, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    hahahahahaha!! I think I should pick one and use it 🙂 I like the "hear and brain removal" 😀

    • September 2, 2015 at 7:24 am

      We used to say you would go get a frontal lobotomy when you became management. Either way. 🙂

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