Lifes Lessons

9 Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older:

Number 9 – Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
Number 8 – Life is sexually transmitted.
Number 7 – Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
Number 6 – Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
Number 5 – Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won’t bother you for weeks, months, maybe years.
Number 4 – Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
Number 3 – All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 2 – In the 60’s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
Number 1 – Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today might burn your ass tomorrow.

And, as someone recently said to me: Don’t worry about old age; it doesn’t last that long.

Hat Tip: Barb
Image Credit: Bio Edge Tech

  48 comments for “Lifes Lessons

  1. July 11, 2015 at 2:04 am

    #5 is so me. I haven't been fishing in week's, months, years…

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:39 am

      Some days 5 is me too Tony. 🙂

  2. July 11, 2015 at 2:33 am

    Love these, #8 was my favorite, because it's so spot on, and yet I never thought of it that way before. And #1 -LMAO.

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:40 am

      So simple isn't it. 🙂

  3. July 11, 2015 at 3:24 am

    These are all great. For number 3 you could also add that it often doesn't do what it's supposed to

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:40 am

      That's a good add. 🙂

  4. July 11, 2015 at 4:11 am

    LOL on that #1. You ain't a kiddin', sister. 🙂
    Have a great weekend. 🙂

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:40 am

      Yep, it's very true. 🙂

  5. July 11, 2015 at 4:47 am

    Great pearls of wisdom. Brilliant!

    Happy Saturday. Big hugs, honey…

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:41 am

      Yep. great pearls of wisdom indeed. 🙂

  6. July 11, 2015 at 5:19 am

    Those are just terrific. They are all good. I tried to find a favorite but I liked each one. Thanks Sandee for the great laugh this morning. You and Zane and Little Bit have a wonderful day.

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:41 am

      You're most welcome Marg. 🙂

  7. July 11, 2015 at 5:22 am

    um… I forgot that I', logged in as my business. But it's me. Barb. That is all.

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:41 am

      I knew it was you. I really did. 🙂

  8. July 11, 2015 at 5:23 am

    Aaaaand… it appears that blogger ate my comment anyway. *sigh* Have a superb day, hon! xoxo

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:42 am

      Yep, this has been happening to me at some sites too. 🙂

  9. July 11, 2015 at 5:44 am

    Number 6 is me, everyday and night, 365 day a year, I'm an Italian you know. Ha,ha,ha.
    Have a beautiful ( horny ) Saturday Sandee. He,he,he. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:43 am

      You don't have to be Italian Paul. I'm just saying. 🙂

  10. July 11, 2015 at 5:53 am

    I might be a little too much like No. 5 than I would care to admit. I can catch my own fish, just pass the Ipad this way please.

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:43 am

      I'm pretty bad myself. It is what it is. 🙂

  11. July 11, 2015 at 6:56 am

    These are all so perfect! Thanks Sandee- have a great day with Zane and Little Bit- bigger hugs!

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:43 am

      Thanks Kathe. We're on our boat so it's all good. 🙂

  12. July 11, 2015 at 7:13 am

    Number 2 involves the same people in different times.

  13. July 11, 2015 at 8:08 am

    Heeheehee! Sweetie loves these!

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:44 am

      I'm glad he liked them. 🙂

  14. July 11, 2015 at 9:19 am

    LOL all true too

    Thanks for pointing out my errors I had no idea how I did it, that's my excuse and I'm sticking to it =D> LOL

    Have an observanttastic day Sandee :-h

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:45 am

      It happens Steve. I kept reading and then I was reading the same thing again. More coffee please. 🙂

  15. July 11, 2015 at 10:17 am

    Love all the 9, just couldn't find a favourite! Ha haaa…I am becoming more like a number 5!

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:45 am

      They are all good. 🙂

  16. July 11, 2015 at 10:20 am

    These are great, Sandee! Thank you so much for sharing! 🙂

    • July 11, 2015 at 10:45 am

      You're most welcome Linda. 🙂

  17. July 11, 2015 at 12:24 pm

    OMG they are all fabulous but #1 totally cracked me up!!!!!! Have a great rest of your weekend! xoxo

    • July 12, 2015 at 7:32 am

      They are all good, but number 1 is spot on. 🙂

  18. July 11, 2015 at 12:46 pm

    Sandee,

    I am about to choke on the cereal I'm eating.
    We all need laughter in our day. Thanks!!

    :)) 😛 :X

    • July 12, 2015 at 7:33 am

      Well, don't choke on your cereal. 🙂

  19. July 11, 2015 at 1:19 pm

    I like # 8 the best. They're all fun though.

    • July 12, 2015 at 7:33 am

      They are all fun indeed. 🙂

  20. July 11, 2015 at 3:07 pm

    2,4,5, and 7 are my favorites, but the whole list was a good one!

  21. July 11, 2015 at 10:40 pm

    As I get older, these get less funny.

    • July 12, 2015 at 7:34 am

      I can relate to that. 🙂

  22. July 11, 2015 at 11:50 pm

    Good ones. I liked the ones on jalappino and weather!

  23. July 13, 2015 at 8:53 am

    I love these!

  24. July 13, 2015 at 3:24 pm

    A slow, healthy death is best. I guess.

    • July 13, 2015 at 4:21 pm

      I think so too Binky. That's what I'm going for. 🙂

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