Announcements II

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight ‘safety lecture’ a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples of funny airline cabin crew announcements:

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: ‘Whoa, big fella. WHOA!’

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight a announced, ‘Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.’

From a Southwest Airlines employee: ‘Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.’

‘In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.’

‘Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.’

‘Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.’

Image Credit: Air Space Blog

  52 comments for “Announcements II

  1. July 9, 2015 at 2:27 am

    Yup, Southwest is a hoot. I am pretty sure the one announcement I mentioned the other day was on a Southwest flight. It's a shame but I hardly ever use them anymore as the only game in town is a Delta 50 seat commuter connector flight through Atlanta or I can drive about 2 and a half hours and get a non-stop from Jacksonville.

    I usually choose jetBlue from JAX. Because free in-flight movies & TV.

    I am cheap that way. Or thrifty. :))

    Have a sensational day, hon. In fact, let's all have one. Why not?! xoxo

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:15 am

      You're thrifty, not cheap. I'm just saying. πŸ™‚

  2. July 9, 2015 at 3:02 am

    Regarding that last one: Who says airlines don't offer complimentary items any more? hahahaha

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Well, I'll pass on that one as you will too. πŸ™‚

  3. July 9, 2015 at 3:53 am

    Funny stuff – except the one about picking your favorite child – sorry I didn't find that one funny.

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Sorry about that Rhonda. πŸ™‚

  4. July 9, 2015 at 4:16 am

    That last one is the best. How great is that to get your very own flotation device. Sandee, You and Zane and Little Bit have on wonderful day.

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Yes, but what you have to do to get it is what I don't want to do. πŸ™‚

  5. July 9, 2015 at 5:10 am

    LOL quite witty aren't they, sometimes on the London Underground here you here some funny announcements out of the blue that cracks everyone up haha!

    Have a flighttastic day Sandee :-h

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Yes, very witty. I love some fun on an otherwise boring flight. πŸ™‚

  6. July 9, 2015 at 5:24 am

    No. 1 strikes a chord with me. I always pictured the pilot and co-pilot with both hands clutched to the wheel and both feet trying to push the brake pedals through the floorboard of the aircraft.

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Now I've got that stuck in my mind too. Thanks. πŸ™‚

  7. July 9, 2015 at 5:40 am

    Numbers two and three totally cracked me up!! Have a great day! xoxo

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:18 am

      I'm glad you were totally cracked up. That's a good thing. You have a great day too. πŸ™‚

  8. July 9, 2015 at 5:43 am

    I enjoyed the stewadess that song her announcements. Now that was interesting and thoughtful.
    Have a wet Thursday Sandee because we are having rain coming down in buckets this morning. Sorry about that. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:18 am

      I'll take all the rain you want to send down here. πŸ™‚

  9. July 9, 2015 at 5:54 am

    These are really laugh-out-loud finny. A perfect way to start my day.

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:18 am

      Glad you help you start your day on the right foot. πŸ™‚

  10. July 9, 2015 at 7:33 am

    Those who didn't know how to buckle a seat belt are out of the freeways and also vote.

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:19 am

      Oh so true. Oh so true. πŸ™‚

  11. July 9, 2015 at 7:52 am

    A good start to a bright, sunny day! Have a wonderful day!

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:19 am

      Thank you Nancy. Glad I could help start your day out right. πŸ™‚

  12. July 9, 2015 at 8:29 am

    :))

  13. July 9, 2015 at 8:46 am

    Sandee, these are great, and the first one made me laugh so hard!!! πŸ™‚

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:20 am

      Have a fabulous day Linda, filled with lots of laughter. πŸ™‚

  14. July 9, 2015 at 8:59 am

    These are much more fun than all that boring stuff! Who wants boring?!

    Big hugs, honey…

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:20 am

      I've been on some long boring flights. No fun at all. πŸ™‚

  15. July 9, 2015 at 9:33 am

    I love Southwest and Horizon has great comedians on board also!

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:21 am

      Yes, Southwest has some great comics. Not been on Horizon. πŸ™‚

  16. July 9, 2015 at 11:09 am

    Good ones. I loved the one on oxygen masks!
    Have a great day!

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:21 am

      Don't tell Rhonda, but I really liked that one too. πŸ™‚

  17. July 9, 2015 at 11:17 am

    Haha, boy oh boy! I wish every airline flight was required to do one of these! Hilarious!!

    • July 9, 2015 at 11:21 am

      Yes, it would make flying so much nicer. πŸ™‚

  18. July 9, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    pick your favorite… h-( g-)

    • July 10, 2015 at 9:09 am

      I loved that one. A lot. πŸ™‚

  19. July 9, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    Those are funny. My last Southwest flight didn't include anything like that, but the flight attendants and the pilot were very attentive to me because of my fear of flying. They tried to make my experience a happy one during the flight and when we deplaned, they were all holding up their to me for high fives. I think high fives are goofy, but I enjoyed returning these.

    • July 10, 2015 at 9:09 am

      That was very nice of them. Really. πŸ™‚

  20. July 9, 2015 at 1:10 pm

    These are all good. Laughed at the pick your favorite. According to my daughter my favorite is my son but he says it's her that's the favorite. I guess I should never travel with them, I don't want to break the tie…lol

    • July 10, 2015 at 9:10 am

      I hate to admit it, but it's my favorite too. πŸ™‚

  21. July 9, 2015 at 3:27 pm

    Heeheehee! The comedy alone almost makes it worth the price of the ticket!

    • July 10, 2015 at 9:10 am

      Almost is the operative word here. πŸ™‚

  22. July 9, 2015 at 7:06 pm

    :))

  23. July 9, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    #4 was my pick of the bunch.

    • July 10, 2015 at 9:11 am

      Mine too, but don't tell Rhonda. πŸ™‚

  24. July 10, 2015 at 7:36 am

    I never got to keep a seat cushion…

    • July 10, 2015 at 9:12 am

      You have to be in a crash on the water. I'd be proud of not having that seat cushion. πŸ™‚

  25. July 10, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    #3 was the best of the bunch for sure!

    • July 11, 2015 at 8:09 am

      And there are so many that need that instruction. πŸ™‚

  26. July 10, 2015 at 5:22 pm

    Those are some really good ones. #3 and 4 were my favorites.

    • July 11, 2015 at 8:10 am

      Yep, there is a lot of fodder on an airliner. πŸ™‚

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