Announcements II

All too rarely, airline attendants make an effort to make the in flight ‘safety lecture’ a bit more entertaining. Here are some real examples of funny airline cabin crew announcements:

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: ‘Whoa, big fella. WHOA!’

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight a announced, ‘Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted.’

From a Southwest Airlines employee: ‘Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don’t know how to operate one, you probably shouldn’t be out in public unsupervised.’

‘In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.’

‘Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we’ll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines.’

‘Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments.’

Image Credit: Air Space Blog