Hollywood Squares

These great questions and answers are from the days when ‘ Hollywood Squares’ game show responses were spontaneous, not scripted, as they are now. Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions.

Q. In bowling, what’s a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I’m always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I’ll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.

Hat tip: Roche the pet rock owned by Empress Bee
Image Credit: Keith Harrison

  44 comments for “Hollywood Squares

  1. May 7, 2015 at 1:04 am

    Paul Lynda was my absolute favorite!

    Happy Hump Day honey! big hugs x0x0

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:45 am

      He was my absolute favorite too Barb. πŸ™‚

  2. May 7, 2015 at 1:38 am

    LMAO @ Tape Measures and Great Grandpa's horseradish (I wonder if his head stung)

    Have a celebtastic day Sandee :-h

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:46 am

      They were so witty weren't they. πŸ™‚

  3. May 7, 2015 at 4:29 am

    Just one of the best game shows ever.

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:46 am

      I agree. It's one of the few I looked forward to. πŸ™‚

  4. May 7, 2015 at 4:37 am

    Awesome.

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:46 am

      I agree Christine. πŸ™‚

  5. May 7, 2015 at 4:39 am

    Now that would be a fun show to watch again. Loved these. That's some funny stuff right there.

    Have a super duper day. Big hugs, honey…

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:47 am

      And you can watch them. Go to YouTube and type in Hollywood Squares. They pick the old ones. πŸ™‚

  6. May 7, 2015 at 4:46 am

    Heeheehee! Thank you, now i get to go to work laughing!

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:47 am

      And you've a day of hard work sorting through all that furniture. πŸ™‚

  7. May 7, 2015 at 4:52 am

    Those are hysterical. Kissing a lots people struck my funny bone but then they were all really good. You have a fun day Sandee along with Zane and Little Bit.

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:47 am

      Yes, those were some very funny people. πŸ™‚

  8. May 7, 2015 at 5:07 am

    That was such a good show. They should bring it back.

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:48 am

      But could you find witty people like that today? Without the vulgarity? Maybe. πŸ™‚

  9. May 7, 2015 at 5:31 am

    some great old timers there, have a wonderful day! xoxo

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:48 am

      Yes, they were great old timers. πŸ™‚

  10. May 7, 2015 at 6:09 am

    Give me more, give me more. I just love those characters on that show. Have a funny, silly hilarious Thursday Sandee. He,he,he, See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:49 am

      Me too Paul. I always looked forward to each and every show. Good clean fun. πŸ™‚

  11. May 7, 2015 at 7:41 am

    These are great! And I think you said these were off the top of their heads? I admire someone who can be that quick witted!

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:49 am

      Yes, they were off the top of their heads. I admire folks that can think that quick too. πŸ™‚

  12. Jim
    May 7, 2015 at 8:17 am

    I love these, Sandee ~~ Most seem to be bedroom or sex oriented, I'm still smiling. I watched that program but can't picture any part of it. YouTube probably has lots of episodes. ??? =))
    BTW, that day's shrimp salad was really good. Princess always has a snack bar besides the coffee bar with pastries and light eating. It was my lunch that day. Oh, I might have gone topside for a pizza or a krautdog or both.
    h-(

    • May 7, 2015 at 8:50 am

      YouTube has tons of these old shows.

      That shrimp salad looked so good. πŸ™‚

  13. May 7, 2015 at 3:26 pm

    Fantastic funny =))

    • May 7, 2015 at 4:39 pm

      They were indeed. Have a woof woof day you two. πŸ™‚

  14. May 7, 2015 at 4:03 pm

    LOL nice…. I like watching those on YouTube! – http://www.domesticgeekgirl.com

    • May 7, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      Me too. They are a blast from the past. πŸ™‚

  15. May 7, 2015 at 4:12 pm

    Paul Lynde always had the best answers.

    • May 7, 2015 at 4:42 pm

      He did didn't he. I always liked him the very best. πŸ™‚

  16. May 7, 2015 at 5:43 pm

    I remember those days, but never really a big fan of the show although I did watch it some. Keep in mind, not many choices in those times.

    • May 8, 2015 at 10:59 am

      There weren't many choices back then indeed. At midnight there wasn't any television at all. Just the test pattern. πŸ™‚

  17. May 7, 2015 at 7:30 pm

    BWAHAHA!! Never point and laugh and never no never do it in bed!

    • May 8, 2015 at 11:00 am

      So very true. Takes romance to an all time low. πŸ™‚

  18. May 7, 2015 at 11:54 pm

    Classics all. c-)

    • May 8, 2015 at 11:00 am

      Yes indeed Odie. πŸ™‚

  19. May 8, 2015 at 3:41 am

    Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
    A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

    buwahahhaha

    • May 8, 2015 at 11:00 am

      Charley was a hoot wasn't he. πŸ™‚

  20. May 8, 2015 at 12:52 pm

    They had some pretty good guests on that program back in the day.

    • May 8, 2015 at 2:38 pm

      They sure did. Some of my favorites. πŸ™‚

  21. May 9, 2015 at 4:37 am

    Great replies. Paul Lynd always made me laugh.

    • May 9, 2015 at 7:10 am

      Paul Lynde was a very funny man. πŸ™‚

  22. May 9, 2015 at 7:10 am

    LOL!!! Paul Lynde always made me laugh, he was such a riot. πŸ™‚

    • May 9, 2015 at 7:14 am

      He was most witty. And the zingers just came natural for him. πŸ™‚

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