IRS Audit

At the end of the tax year, the IRS sent an inspector to audit the books of a local hospital. While the agent was checking the books, he turned to the CEO of the hospital and said, “I notice you buy a lot of bandages.” What do you do with the end of the roll when there’s too little left to be of any use?

“Good question,” noted the CEO. “We save them up and send them back to the bandage company, and every once in a while they send us a free roll.”

“Oh,” replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his unusual question had a practical answer. But on he went in his obnoxious way, “What about all these plaster purchases? What do you do with what’s left over after setting a cast on a patient?”

“Ah, yes,” replied the CEO, realizing that the inspector was trying to trap him with an unanswerable question. “We save it and send it back to the manufacturer, and every so often they send us a free bag of plaster.”

“I see,” replied the auditor, thinking hard about how he could fluster the know-it-all CEO. “Well, what do you do with all the remains from the circumcision surgeries?”

“Here, too, we do not waste,” answered the CEO. “What we do is save all the little foreskins and send them to the IRS office, and about once a year they send us a complete prick.”

Hat tip: Linda W.
Image Credit: Better Business Blog

  44 comments for “IRS Audit

  1. April 21, 2015 at 4:19 am

    Heeheehee! That they do!

  2. April 21, 2015 at 4:20 am

    Ha! I did NOT see that coming.

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:15 am

      Neither did it, but it's probably true. πŸ™‚

  3. April 21, 2015 at 4:52 am

    Good answer. Sure made me laugh out loud. Sandee, Zane and Little Bit, you all have a super day. .

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Excellent answer. You have a super day too Marg. πŸ™‚

  4. April 21, 2015 at 5:08 am

    Another laugh out loud here!

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:16 am

      My buddy sends me some good ones. πŸ™‚

  5. April 21, 2015 at 5:08 am

    LOL good one I didn't see that coming either πŸ™‚

    Have a taxtastic day Sandee :-h

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:16 am

      Auditors do get a bad name if they work for the IRS. πŸ™‚

  6. April 21, 2015 at 5:37 am

    Love it, love it, love it. That IRS inspector got what he deserved, a kick in the a$$. Ha,ha,ha. Have beautiful sunny Tuesday Sandee. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:17 am

      The IRS isn't a very respected agency. πŸ™‚

  7. April 21, 2015 at 6:23 am

    BWAH!! They sure do, don't they? (wink) Have a great day! xoxo

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:17 am

      Yes they do. You have a great day too Caren. Scritches to Cody. πŸ™‚

  8. LAC
    April 21, 2015 at 6:42 am

    Ah, and after that comment, he shall see a new prick each and every year!

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:17 am

      That's true, and then again perhaps not. πŸ™‚

  9. April 21, 2015 at 7:29 am

    hoo boy! This is a good one! Have a perfect day! Scritches to LB!

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:18 am

      It's a good one indeed. You have a perfect day too. Scritches to Miss Lucy. πŸ™‚

  10. April 21, 2015 at 7:36 am

    I think that was the same prick who audited us a number of years ago. So that's how they get made!

    Big happy hugs, honey…

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:18 am

      Yes, this is how they get made. Bwahahahahahaha. Big happy hugs back. πŸ™‚

  11. April 21, 2015 at 7:41 am

    A man who worked for my father always asked for a day off at the same time each year. My dad once asked him why. He was told that it was for his annual IRS audit. He got audited every year because he deducted a lot of stuff he shouldn't. When he went to the audit, he made himself difficult. The upshot was that the auditor wanted to get rid of him and they compromised on a figure in the middle. Then the auditor looked good to his IRS boss because he extorted more money from the man and the man figured he made about $1,500 per hour tax free compared with being honest on his return.

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:19 am

      Whatever works. Pretty clever. πŸ™‚

  12. April 21, 2015 at 7:50 am

    Hahaha! Didn't expect that one although I certainly should have!

    Hope you are home safe and sound after your boating weekend Sandee! Scritches to Little Bit!

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:19 am

      You should have, but you're not and IRS auditor so I felt safe posting this. πŸ™‚

  13. April 21, 2015 at 9:00 am

    Saw it coming, tried to duck but it still made me laugh!

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:20 am

      It's not all that easy to make you laugh either. I'm just saying. πŸ™‚

  14. April 21, 2015 at 9:20 am

    I know that IRS agent. c-)

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:20 am

      I've never been audited, but we don't try to cheat them out of our hard earned money. Oh wait, we're retired. Never mind. πŸ™‚

  15. April 21, 2015 at 10:53 am

    Oh, my! That was a good one! πŸ˜€

    I've never been audited. I'm hoping to keep that record, too. Yes, indeedy.

    big hugs xoxo

    • April 21, 2015 at 11:21 am

      Good for you and I'm guessing you'll never be audited. You play by the rules as we do. πŸ™‚

  16. April 21, 2015 at 11:53 am

    Ouch! That must have hurt πŸ™‚

    • April 21, 2015 at 3:17 pm

      Yes, I'm sure it did hurt. πŸ™‚

  17. April 21, 2015 at 1:05 pm

    BWAHAHA!! I wish someone would say that to an IRS auditor!

    • April 21, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      I'm guessing someone has made them angry more than once, but this is a classic comeback. πŸ™‚

  18. April 21, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    I can see how that guy got to be CEO, he's smart. Love it. The IRS guy had that one coming

    • April 21, 2015 at 3:18 pm

      Yes he did have that coming and he got it too. πŸ™‚

  19. April 21, 2015 at 2:45 pm

    He's in audit inferno now, boyyyyyyyyyyyy! πŸ™‚

    • April 21, 2015 at 3:22 pm

      He sure is, but he's going to smile a good long time. πŸ™‚

  20. April 21, 2015 at 8:26 pm

    That got four thumbs up; two from me and two provisional ones from Seymour, soon as he figures out how to prove he has 'em πŸ˜‰

    • April 22, 2015 at 7:10 am

      I thought you might like this one Mike. Seymour you never know. πŸ™‚

  21. April 21, 2015 at 11:50 pm

    Bwahahaha!!! I didn't expect that ending

    • April 22, 2015 at 7:10 am

      I didn't either Tony. A great comeback. πŸ™‚

  22. April 22, 2015 at 5:41 pm

    The CEO should stop doing the last one.

    • April 23, 2015 at 7:26 am

      Well, it's probably too late now. The IRS has a very long memory. πŸ™‚

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