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The Traffic Stop:
A cop pulls over a car and asks the driver, “Do you know how fast you were going?”.
“Well officer, I thought I was OK but I guess I let the speed get away from me.
The driver’s wife in the passenger seat piped in “He always drives 25 to 30 mph over the limit”.
“Shut up you battleaxe, are you trying to get me arrested?”/
The cop says “you weren’t wearing your seat belt”.
“I took it off when you pulled me over”.
“He never wears it”.
“Shut up you witch”.
“Let me see your license and registration”.
“I must have left my wallet at home”.
“No, you didn’t, your license is suspended”.
“Shut up you ugly bat”.
The cop walks around to the passenger window and asks the wife, “does he always treat you this poorly?”
“No, officer, only when he’s drunk”.
Hat tip: Kismit of Kylascott