Church Bulletins

churchbloopers They’re Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for the church ladies with typewriters. These sentences actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced at church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water. β€˜The sermon tonight: β€˜Searching for Jesus.’

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.

Don’t let worry kill you off – let the Church help.

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’ giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.

Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.

Hat tip: Nick M.
Image Credit: This Weeks Funny

45 thoughts on “Church Bulletins

  1. Paul Pietrangelo says:

    I'm dying of laughing with these church bulletins. I really liked this one, " At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice." Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.
    Have a wonderful Tuesday Sandee. See ya.

    Cruisin Paul

  2. MNL says:

    these cracked me up — proves the importance of the correct preposition
    “Proceeds will be used to cripple children.”

    and it’s funny that you did these two back to back
    A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
    At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be β€˜What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to our choir practice.

    (hmmm, did the choir go to the bean supper too before practice? you’ll get a two-for-one hell, ears and nose)

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