Ten Golden Rules

Frequent Flyers Ten Golden Rules

No flight ever leaves on time unless you are running late and need the delay to make the flight.

If you are running late for a flight, it will depart from the farthest gate within the terminal.

If you arrive very early for a flight, it inevitably will be delayed.

Flights never leave from Gate #1 at any terminal in the world.

If you must work on your flight, you will experience turbulence as soon as you touch pen to paper. Or start to drink your coffee.

If you are assigned a middle seat, you can determine who has the seats on the aisle and the window while you are still in the boarding area. Just look for the two largest passengers.

Only passengers seated in window seats ever have to get up to go to the lavatory.

The crying baby on board is always seated next to you.

The best-looking woman/man on your flight is never seated next to you.

The less carry-on luggage space available on an aircraft, the more carry-on luggage passengers will bring aboard.

Image Credit: Airlines

  52 comments for “Ten Golden Rules

  1. January 8, 2015 at 12:21 am

    Wait! I have to correct you! Flights always leave from Gate #1 here at our wonderful airport as we just have the one. It's marvelous. Unless you hate that youcan only get to and from Atlanta from here. Absolute truth. πŸ˜‰

    big hugs from the arctic south, honey. Bundle up, Buttercup, and put another log on the fire! xoxo

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:30 am

      Well there are exceptions. All the airports I visit are awful. πŸ™‚

  2. Ann
    January 8, 2015 at 1:58 am

    Maybe these rules are the reason I don't fly. πŸ™‚

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:30 am

      I only fly if I need to. πŸ™‚

  3. January 8, 2015 at 2:58 am

    LOL and so blinking true, I haven't flown in years I hated it my arms used to get so tired :))

    Have a exitthiswaytastic day Sandee :-h

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:31 am

      We'll probably be doing a short flight in May. πŸ™‚

  4. January 8, 2015 at 4:20 am

    Perfect timing, seeing as how my husband and 13 yer old are heading to Texas tomorrow. I'm sure they will run into at least a couple of these!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:31 am

      Yep, I'm sure they will. πŸ™‚

  5. January 8, 2015 at 4:54 am

    Great list of rules!
    Have a great day!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:31 am

      And all of them are true too. You have a great day too. πŸ™‚

  6. January 8, 2015 at 5:27 am

    Every time I've had to fly, I end departing from the farthest gate within the terminal and when fly back I end up at the farthest gate within the terminal. I can never win. At least they have the tram that will get you back to the middle of the terminal and then pick up our luggage.
    Have a wonderful Thursday Sandee. Right now it's – 20 wind chill the regular number doesn't really matter. See ya.

    Cruisin' Paul

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:32 am

      Yep, it seems to work that way. You'll be on your cruise soon. πŸ™‚

  7. January 8, 2015 at 5:34 am

    Sounds about right on all scores.

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:32 am

      It is Jean, it is. πŸ™‚

  8. January 8, 2015 at 5:38 am

    Practical Golden rules of flying put in the best humorous manner.
    Have a great day!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:32 am

      Yep, you might as well see the humor. πŸ™‚

  9. January 8, 2015 at 5:55 am

    Your connecting flight will NEVER depart within 25 gates of your arrival flight.
    If the airport has multiple terminals, your connecting flight will NEVER depart from you arrival terminal.
    The best restaurants in the airport are always in the other terminal.
    The child with ADHD will always be seated directly behind you and his/her mom will always have forgotten to give them their medicine that morning.
    I am so glad that my business travel days are over.

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:33 am

      You traveled a lot as I recall. It can be most aggravating. Not much you can do but take a deep breath and go with the flow. πŸ™‚

  10. January 8, 2015 at 6:37 am

    I hate flying but my husband is now a frequent flyer for work. I like to travel but I find I like the thought of it and the memory of it more than actually doing it!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:33 am

      I'm not a fan of anything concerning an airport. πŸ™‚

  11. January 8, 2015 at 7:21 am

    Well I have never liked flying but this just determines that I really don't want to fly. That all does not sound like fun.
    Sandee, you have a wonderful day along with Zane and Little Bit. Take care too.

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:34 am

      I don't care for it either, but sometimes it's a necessity. πŸ™‚

  12. January 8, 2015 at 7:37 am

    oh so very very true! Now that the closest airport for us is in Medford Oregon we enjoy TSA agents who are polite and very friendly- only 4 gates and they are located close together….Medford Oregon's airport is the best! Cheers!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:35 am

      Now that's the kind of airport I would like. Sacramento, San Francisco, LAX, Honolulu, Miami… and the list goes on and on are horrible. πŸ™‚

  13. January 8, 2015 at 7:55 am

    Oh yep, mm hmm, yessirre, Bob. I agree with these and then some!!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:35 am

      Yep, and then let's not forget about the clods that are flying with you. πŸ™‚

  14. January 8, 2015 at 7:57 am

    I don't fly in airplanes anymore. It used to be fun but now it's the pits.

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:36 am

      It is the pits indeed and the passengers are the biggest part of the problem. πŸ™‚

  15. January 8, 2015 at 10:03 am

    Drive if you can. You can take all the luggage you can cram in, and stop to use the lavatory any time you want. If it's just you and up to 3 other people, everyone has a window seat!

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:36 am

      Yep, I agree. I love a window seat. πŸ™‚

  16. January 8, 2015 at 10:28 am

    Oh yes. These are all true – and I'm about to see them in action once again. I'll be traveling at the end of the month to go visit my niece and meet my brand new Great Niece. Can't wait to see and spend time with them … but hate the thought of the plane trip. Ugh. πŸ™‚

    • January 8, 2015 at 10:36 am

      You'll have fun once you get there. That's the best part. πŸ™‚

  17. January 8, 2015 at 11:22 am

    I'm with Driller… Let me add that the child is kicking the seat. Repeatedly.
    NOt fond of flying. It's used to be fun. Now? it's like a greyhound bus.

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:56 am

      You think the mother can see the child kicking the seat? Wouldn't you make that little kid stop. Nope, whatever that little darling does is just so cute. πŸ™‚

  18. January 8, 2015 at 12:38 pm

    I don't like to fly. It's too nerve-wracking for me. I have to have a few drinks prior to a flight, because if I were stone cold sober, I think I'd have a nervous breakdown on the plane. Heavy sedation would work well, too πŸ˜‰

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:57 am

      Hubby hates to fly with a passion. I don't care for it either, but it's more the clods that ruin it for me. πŸ™‚

  19. January 8, 2015 at 12:49 pm

    Those are all so true! Well, except when I travel with my hubby then the best looking guy is seated right next to me! πŸ™‚

    Happy almost Friday Sandee! Scritches to Little Bit!

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:57 am

      That's not true. When I fly the best looking guy is sitting next to me. I think we both love our hubbies. πŸ™‚

  20. January 8, 2015 at 3:36 pm

    Murphy's Laws of Flying.

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Amen to this Binky. πŸ™‚

  21. January 8, 2015 at 4:35 pm

    And what genius designed the touch screen on the back of the seats?! In addition to the kicking is the bump, bump, bumping on the blankety blank screen! Sheesh. And no leg room.

    Big hugs, honey…

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:58 am

      Yes, and there is that little annoyance. The person that invented that probably doesn't fly. πŸ™‚

  22. January 8, 2015 at 8:15 pm

    Do you know that I actually sat at the airport tonight waiting for my Mom's delayed flight?!??! SO FUNNY! And she came off saying, "of COURSE I get stuck in front of four women who had just met and got drunk together…. and very VERY loud!"

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:59 am

      Your poor mother. Bless their hearts. Perhaps they all have a hangover this morning. We can hope. πŸ™‚

  23. January 8, 2015 at 11:59 pm

    These are all true πŸ™‚ One time, we were running late and running literally to our boarding gate which is I think is located at the farthest part of that airport πŸ™‚

    • January 9, 2015 at 8:59 am

      I've done this more than once too Rocks. πŸ™‚

  24. January 9, 2015 at 8:00 pm

    HA, those rules definitely apply…even to me and I only fly once or twice per year..running through the airport, will, however, make for a nice workout prior to being stuck on the plane πŸ˜‰

    • January 10, 2015 at 9:28 am

      A necessary evil sometimes. I hate airports, but sometimes you just have to fly. πŸ™‚

  25. January 13, 2015 at 2:30 am

    I guess we have been really lucky, we didn't have too many of these problems πŸ™‚
    And I get to sit next to hubby, so I am never complaining.

    • Comedy Plus
      February 28, 2018 at 3:18 pm

      I love sitting next to hubby too, but neither of care for flying. πŸ™‚

  26. MNL
    February 28, 2018 at 3:05 pm

    Yep, I know these. The Murphy Laws of airlines, lol.

    • Comedy Plus
      February 28, 2018 at 3:19 pm

      Isn’t it the truth. πŸ™‚

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